|
This
is a work of fiction, loosely based on the real person, Russell Crowe. No
insult or injury is intended, this story is for entertainment purposes only. This
story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains explicit sexual
situations and adult language. The writer is not responsible for any
"discomfort" caused to the reader by this language and these
situations.
Remission by:
©
11/2004 Chapter 11 She's cleaned up the mess in the
studio. Doesn't know how she got through those first days. How she managed to
keep on breathing. Jocelyn called once. Worried
about her. Worried about Russell. He has left for Sydney. Without a word. She's
hoping Mari can explain what has happened. Mari can't. It was a painful conversation.
Both of them uneasy. Even though winter has started
the temperature seldom drops below 20 degrees Celsius. There has been some rain
in the last months. Badly needed rain. Mari has thrown herself on her work with
consuming passion. Exhausting herself again. She hasn't had the courage yet to
start a new exhibition. Isn't up to meeting people yet. She misses Russell with every
breath she takes. Has tried to block him out. But he won't go away. She's lost
some weight. She tries to take care of herself. Cooking herself healthy meals.
The nights are the worst. She can't sleep. She's getting through the days with a
constant pain inside her. Hoping that one day it will stop hurting so much. Slowly she manages to get some
routine back into her life. In the mornings she rides Mischief. Brushes him
down. Cleans out the stable. Enjoying the physical work. Sometimes she drives to
town. Doing her shopping. Picking up her mail. Buying newspapers and tabloids,
hoping to find a little news, a photo. When she does, it always hits her hard.
They're mostly paparazzi shots of him entering some restaurant, of him walking
the streets of Sydney with his trainer and bodyguard, of him at Rugby matches. In the afternoons she paints.
Always experimenting, trying to find new means to express herself. ~*~ Another soft July day. She's out in the garden. She's
made a large pile of dead wood way in the back. She places the paintings on top,
piling them high. Some white spirit and matches. They burn like purgatory. Thick
black smoke developing. She watches the images melt. Fire breaking through the
canvas. The material curling away. Until there is nothing but a blazing tower of
fire. ~*~ He's in the news. The band has
announced an Australian tour. Over 24 concerts all over Oz. And on July 19th and
20th they play in Coffs Harbour. Ever since Mari read that they
will play Coffs, she has been on edge. When she finally admits to herself that
no way in hell she's going to miss this concert, she starts to plan. She makes reservations for both
nights. Concert and hotel. She tries on several outfits, looking for the perfect
disguise. Something to blend in. She settles for his old Gaslight shirt. He's
never picked up his things. Hair in ponytail, TOFOG-cap, sunglasses. She looks
like a fan. ~*~ Mari is inside the club. She's
mingled with a group of fans. Looking the part
as "one of the girls". They are from all over the world.
Canada, the US, Japan and even Europe. All ages and shapes. She's amazed. They
are a lot of fun to hang out with. Joking around. Making her feel welcome. She's
joined them for dinner. She hasn't laughed like this in a long time. After dinner they go upstairs
and wait for the doors to the concert room to open. It's very crowded. Once
inside Mari makes sure she isn't too close to the stage. She wants to see, not
be seen. It's a long wait. First the supporting acts. Another long wait and then
finally the guys come on. Russell last. She feels as if someone has punched her
in the stomach. Physical pain in seeing him. He's all in black. His hair cut
halfway. Still blond. The band launches into "Barry Kable". She can't
keep her eyes off him. He's fooling around a lot, playing the crowd. They play
for over two hours. Giving their hearts and souls. Two encores. Just when
everyone thinks it's all over, Russell and Dean come back on stage. He's playing
one more song. A new song. Accompanied by Dean alone. He says he's written it
for someone special... After the first two words she
knows it's about her... "Contorted
faces haunting
my dreams warm
body soft haven paint
strokes violently burn
her skin She
needs to run keeps
running away from me Dark
night shadows haunting
her dreams hard
mind un-forgiving chords
played violently burn
her skin she
needs to run keeps
running away from me I
can't forget the
pictures she paints have
a smoke, baby and
let your demons in Red
hot lashes haunting
my dreams silk
gracefully flowing the
game ended violently burn
her skin she
needs to run keeps
running away from me I
can't forget the
dreams she paints have
another smoke, baby and
let your demons in She
needs to run keeps
running away from me still
running away from me." The crowd
is cheering. Mari cries. Tears streaming down her cheeks. She lets them.
Grateful for the darkness. His words tearing her soul apart. And then it's
really over. The flow of the crowd carries
her outside. She stays there for a while. Shaking. Having a smoke. Calming down. She hasn't been able to sleep.
The words of his song disturbing her mind. Another day. The second night is much the
same as the first. Mari gets a place a little closer to the stage. She keeps the
cap deep over her eyes. It's another great concert. Lot's of teasing. Some girls
up front try to grab him. He jokes but doesn't really like it. She can see it in
his face. After the second encore she gets really nervous. She tries to back
away in the crowd. He's back with Dean. Singing her song again. Breaking her
heart all over again. She feels his eyes upon her. As if he can see her in the
darkness. She backs away more. Hardly daring to breath. It ends. He's gone. ~*~ It's August, still winter. She
on the veranda. Enjoying the last sun. Sipping her beer, smoking. Since the
concerts Mari is more at peace. She's bought the new album. Her song is on it.
She knows the lyrics by heart, finding them strangely comforting. Russell is
back in Nana Glen. She's heard the talk in town. She's painting him again, on
stage, singing with the band. It makes her happy. There's a car coming up at the
front. She gets up and walks around the house. Her heart stops. It's his blue
truck. He's behind the wheel, unmoving, looking at her. She can't move. Her brain has
stopped working. It feels like eternity before he
gets out of the car. Slowly walking toward her. He looks thinner. He stops a few
paces away from her. "Hi, Mari." Hoarse voice. "Can we
talk?" She nods, not able to speak. Follows him back to the veranda. He
sits down, nods at her beer. "I could use one of those." She gets him one. He lights two
cigarettes, gives one to her. The familiar gesture shakes her beyond believe.
She can't believe he's here. Millions of thoughts running through her mind. His eyes look so tired. New
lines in his face. "How've you been, luv?"
"Busy..... Coping...."
She fights her tears. "I've been on tour. We
played half of Australia. Coffs too." "Yes, I know." "Where you there,
Mari?" Leaning forward, looking at her intensely. She whispers. "Yes." "Why?" "Because I couldn't stay
away." "Why not?" His eyes so
green now, fixed on her intensely. "Because it meant I could
see you, without you seeing me." He's up from his chair, pacing
up and down. "I knew you were there. I could feel you there." Her heart misses a beat. "I
was afraid you might. The second night it felt as if you could see me in the
darkness.....after the song...." He looks away, swallows hard.
"What did you think of the song?" "At first it just tore me
apart. Horrible and beautiful at the same time. But now .... it's a comfort. I
love it.... Why...why did you write it?" "Because I
couldn't get you out of my system. God knows I've tried." Harsh
voice. "Writing helps me to deal with things. I thought it would give me
closure." She's not moving. Doesn't dare
to move "Did it?" "No." He sits down again, pulling the
chair closer to hers. "That night.....I was so excited. Thought I was the
happiest man on earth. Asking you to marry me....making plans. A ring specially designed for
you in my pocket. It never occurred to me that you might not want to marry me,
never crossed my mind...." His eyes....so much pain.
"Of course I should have known. Should have thought....I knew you
were hiding something from me. Just didn't imagine.....how could I have? It
threw me. I wasn't prepared.... I have been thinking a lot.
About us. About you. I have been staring at the portrait you made me. So much
love in there.... That's you! Not those," making a wild
gesture. "Not those in there. Maybe then, but not now. Not anymore,
Mari." She finds her speech.
"They're gone. I've burned them. I've burned my demons, Russ. They're
gone." He looks at her, pleading.
"I have dark places too. I need to go there when I'm working, you know?
Guess it's all part of the process. Guess that's what makes us special. Maybe
it's the downside of talent... I don't know. We all have those dark places. I
don't believe you are that woman anymore, Mari, I truly don't believe that. I trust you. You have been
abused and mis-used most of your life. You were fighting for your life. I would
have too. I would have wanted to kill him too. You have been punishing yourself
long enough now. I have been too. You are the woman who's painted my portrait.
Putting your love in every stroke, every line, each little detail. You are the
woman that has loved and cherished me when I was down. I don't want to live
without that woman. I can't live without that woman....I can't live without you,
Mari..." He chokes. She's up and in his arms. Oh,
God! To be in his arms again! He holds her tight. So tight she can hardly
breath. She can't believe that he has forgiven her, that he still wants her.
Finally he kisses her. Hard and passionate. Bruising her lips. Needing her. Her
head swims. Her body responding to his. Pressing hard against him. His hands all
over her body. "Are you mine, Mari?"
Demanding. "Oh, God! Yes! I'm
yours." "Then marry me." She
crying hard now. "Oh, baby...if you still want me...I can't believe
you still want me...." "I'll want you for the rest
of my life." They stand there for a long time, as if they are both afraid that moving will break the spell. Until finally he picks her up in his arms and carries her inside, kicking the door close behind them.
THE END
Return to Real Russell
Return to Main Page
WANT TO POST FEEDBACK? VISIT THE ROUGH MAGIC FEEDBACK MESSAGE BOARD!
|
