This
is a work of fiction, using characters from the film, “Proof of Life”.
No insult or invasion of privacy or infringement of copyright is
intended. The story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains adult
language. The writer is not responsible for any "discomfort" caused to
the reader by this language and these situations.
Mindful
©11/2003
by: Darrin Lee Hutton
You slowly become aware of your surroundings in a way that actually scares you more than the fact that you weren’t aware until this moment. This moment when you’re a fully vulnerable human being. This moment that separates the unconscious state you were in from the moment when the training will kick in and you begin to process information in a much more efficient way.
It scares you more because you’ve not actually been in a situation like this before. When you’re not sure what’s real, despite the fact that you can sense everything.
Moments are connected though, and your training does kick in and you assess the damage.
Physical. Your hands are cuffed behind you. You’re sitting in a chair that feels wooden against your legs which are mostly bare. You feel like you’re wearing a pair of shorts and a tank, but the blindfold is keeping you from being able to confirm any of this. Your feet are bare and you can feel a gritty cement floor under them. You can also feel the cuffs around your ankles, binding you to the chair. You’re hungry, thirsty, exhausted and in need of the lav, but the training has kicked in and you remain motionless, in case anyone is in the room with you; you don’t want to alert them to your conscious state.
Your jaw hurts and you sense dried blood on your chin. A small movement of your eyebrow indicates dried blood there, as well. Your abdomen aches with bruises and your leg muscles feel well used, but stiff. Like you’ve walked a very long way but possibly days ago.
Damn, you really need the lav now.
You realize the inside of your left elbow hurts in an odd way. You search your memory for a reminder of what that pain might indicate and then it comes to you. Drugs. They must have injected me with some kind of hallucinogenic, you think, worried now what that might mean.
Surroundings. The air smells dank. Like you’re in some place that hasn’t been used in a great long while. You can also smell yourself; definitely in need of a long, hot shower. There’s a faint chemical smell as well, but you can’t place it. The air is cool, but you’re not uncomfortable with the temperature, so you assume it’s night, but just come. The sound of crickets helps confirm this, but still, you’re not certain. The room you’re in feels big, you move one of your feet and assess the sound. Yeah, definitely not a closed space. That makes you feel a little better. You’re not sure why.
You can’t hear anything other than the crickets and the occasional frog, so you feel fairly confident you’re alone.
Your thinking is becoming clearer with each passing second and you hope this means that the drugs, whatever they may have been, don’t have a lasting effect. You’ve seen cargo drugged before and it’s not pretty. It’s something you hoped would never have happened to you, but truth be told you’ve been in similar situations, but nothing like this. Nothing so clearly menacing.
Menacing, because you honestly can’t remember how you got here.
This brings you to the final assessment. Mental/Emotional. Thinking clearly now, but how are you feeling? Spirit is highly important in being able to effect a rescue and right now, you’re feeling scared, but ready. Even if you can’t remember how you came to be captured like this, you know that there are people who will be looking for you. Rescuing the rescuer. How ironic. You don’t care about that, though, You just want it to fucking happen. And soon. Because as physically and mentally prepared as you are, emotionally, you are seriously fucked up.
How did I get here?
The thought causes your heart to begin pounding in triple time. No way should you ever not know this.
A
door opens. The sound is some
distance away and you smile inwardly that at least part of your assumptions are
correct so far.
Probably
a warehouse in the middle of the Keys, you think.
“Ah, Senor Thorne. I know you are awake, so you can stop pretending.”
You remain motionless.
Suddenly, there is a white-hot pain shooting through you, beginning at your shoulder and spreading through your entire body. In spite of your training, you sit up with a shocked cry escaping you.
“Gracias, Senor, don’t fuck with me again. You should know better by now.” The accent is heavy, but understandable. You refuse to respond. “Still stubborn, eh? A few more doses and you’ll be as compliant as a scared schoolgirl.”
You feel the needle enter you and its insidious liquid spread through your vein and then swiftly into your system. What are they giving me? you think, wildly attempting to focus on anything so as to keep whatever effect this drug has on you from taking you over completely. You recognize this as part of your training, just before your mind decides it’s had quite enough of discipline and goes off in search of a good time.
You have literally seconds to choose that good time before you are no longer aware of anything.
So you grab at a memory.
Desirée.
Soft, smooth, creamily tanned skin you love running your hands gently over. Round breasts you hold in your hands and taste with your tongue. Dark-brown, almost black hair that falls in a mass of tresses to the middle of her back. Beautiful, full, cherry red lips that can at once pout and smile seductively at you, depending on her mood. Dancing brown eyes that shine with love for you, shine with mischievous delight at her latest escapade, shine with tears, shine with need, just simply shine. Cute button nose, sculpted cheeks with a soft, natural blush that spreads across her body when you say something wicked. Slightly pouty belly that curves down to hips that have driven you mad, pounding into yours. Soft, black curls that point the way to that part of her that makes you desire her in a way you never thought possible. Makes you laughingly tease her about her name and your need of her. Long, coltish legs that have wrapped themselves around you so many times…
Desirée.
In the haze of the drug coursing through you, you latch onto this memory and with your last ounce of will, force yourself to focus. Whatever reason you’re here, whatever reason they’re putting you through this, you have to try not to give in. Latching onto a memory is part of your training, too.
You just hope you’re doing the right thing, remembering something that’s okay to remember. Because you actually aren’t sure.
Too late now, anyway…
She’s bending back from you, her eyes closed and a smile on her lips and you can feel your cock at her entrance. All you want is to sink into her and she raises her hips demandingly, letting you know that’s what she wants, too. It‘s been too long since you’ve last seen her and you must take her, must drive into her.
And then you are.
You’re into her up to your root and, oh fuck, it feels so good, so unbelievably good. Sliding inside her wetness, feeling her tighten around you, wrapping her legs about your hips and meeting each of your thrusts with her own. You can feel the head of your cock hitting the entrance to her womb with each stroke, hear her cries in your ears of how much she loves you inside her, hear your own grunts of need escaping your throat forcefully as you rock your hips into hers. Feel that ramp up into climax that you both want and don’t want. Just want that feeling to last and last and last and you’re coming, oh fuck, you’re coming and you can’t stop and it feels good, it feels great but you want to hear her coming but you need to keep spurting into her and yes, GOD, YES, so good, so very good…
As you slow your hips and just nestle in the warmth of her, kissing her gently as you both try to just breathe, you know that this is only so good because you love this woman.
“I love you, Desirée,” you say softly.
“Love you, too, T,” she answers.
And you both smile.
~*~
You rock back from the slap across your face which now demands your attention.
“No time for dreaming now, Senor Thorne, so sorry. Looks like it was a good one, too,” the same voice that was taunting you earlier, says with a chuckle. “You should exert more control over yourself.”
You blush involuntarily, realizing that you didn’t just come in the memory.
Suddenly your tormentor is right next to your ear. “How are you feeling? Ready to tell me what I want to know?”
You shrink from him, while at the same time screaming at yourself for being scared. You’ve handled worse than this before, you’re certain. And yet you are feeling like a timid little child, terrified of everything. He was right. Whatever he has given you is making you paranoid.
You think you might be in trouble.
“So, where is she, Senor Thorne? Where is my daughter?”
You don’t have a fucking clue what he’s talking about.
No doubt about it, you are in trouble.
~*~
“So, where is she, Senor Thorne? Where is my daughter?”
That question causes your heart to pound. You feel so compelled to answer, it’s taking every ounce of will just to sit there biting the inside of your cheeks to keep the words from bubbling out. Something in the back of your mind is telling you to shut the fuck up, even if it’s only “What the fuck are you talking about?” that will come out of you. Because you know, you don’t know how you know, but you know, that if you admit you can’t remember anything, you may anger this man to a point you don’t want to go.
You’re so fucking scared now.
The door opens again and you hear someone call to your tormentor.
“I must leave you for a while, Senor Thorne. When I return, you will tell me what I need to know. You stole my daughter from me and I will have her back. You and your partner…One of you will talk.”
Partner???
Oh, fuck, he’s got Dino, too.
You suddenly remember who Dino is. And you suddenly remember that Dino, yes, was with you. Information starts flooding your mind and you try desperately to sort it out, barely hearing the man tell his subordinate to take care of you.
While the bloke undoes your cuffs and marches you to the lav, you remember.
You
were in
Oh, FUCK.
Not Dino.
He has Desirée!
As if on cue, you hear her scream, “Get away from me, you cocksucker!”
You involuntarily cry out her name.
The man with you hits you a good kidney shot with the butt of his rifle and you fall to your knees heavily.
This is bad. This is much worse than you thought. Desirée isn’t in the business nor had she any idea that you were.
You’re marched back to your chair and re-cuffed. You’re given another dose and you can feel the terror building and you’ll talk, you know you will. Because you’ve remembered now. You know where the daughter is and as sacred as you hold your charges, you’ll do anything to keep Desirée safe. She’s the most important thing in all the world to you.
She’s your haven from the madness of your life.
You can only hope and pray Dino rescues you both before you do talk.
The blackness starts to creep in at the edges of your mind and you don’t want to but you fall into that abyss, thankful that Desirée will be with you there…
~*~
Her mouth is around your cock and you’re sweating the sweet torture she’s giving you. Her warm tongue is lapping at you like a kitten to milk and you’re so fucking hard for her that your baser instincts want to pull her back by her long, black hair and force her onto all fours so you can thrust into her, hard, pounding your hips into her backside until you come with a growl.
But it’s Desirée and you’ll never take her that way. You love her so desperately that you truly only want to hear her moan, your own needs are secondary. That is, until her throaty giggle indicates she’s going to be quite naughty and indeed, she pulls away from your straining shaft, a mischievous grin curving those sensuous lips of hers wickedly. You groan in need and whisper, “Desirée, please,” to no avail. She is enjoying her game far too much to allow you release.
You struggle again with your need to take her and she takes pity on your obvious state of impending climax by lowering her head again, this time with purposeful movements that let you know there will be no more wanton interruptions, just her mouth, your cock and the ultimate orgasm you can no more control than you can her. Your hips surge upward as you feel it begin, feel each jet of your seed forced out of you by her talented, beautiful mouth…
At last you stop coming. You can’t speak, you can only caress her cheek as she crawls up towards you after having cleaned you with her tongue along your vanquished length. The two of you smile at each other and she snuggles in next to you as you wrap your arms around her, holding her, enjoying the feel of her body next to yours.
You
want to ask her to be with you forever, but you first have to tell her about
your job. You promise yourself to do
just that when you get back from
~*~
Another slap across your face and another derisive laugh at your growing inability to control yourself.
“This is a good drug, Senor, don’t you agree? As more and more of it is introduced into your body, the less you can resist. And evidently that includes the seductive nature of your memories. It is your partner you are thinking of, no? Not so much a work partner though, as I have come to find out, Senor Thorne. More of a partner in your life. It was a surprise to me, but one that is going to work to my advantage, as you’ll now find out.”
There is a scuffle at the other end of the room and you hear rapid instructions in Spanish. As you translate, your stomach does a slow, nauseating roll at what will obviously come next.
“So, Senor Thorne. Now can you be persuaded?”
And you hear Desirée’s seductive voice, now a terrified cry, “T, what’s going on?”
You wish you could reassure her, but you’re feeling as scared as she sounds.
~*~
“T, what’s going on?”
Desirée’s cry of terror spurs you to talk. You can’t help yourself. You will not let this man hurt her no matter what. At this point you are ready to sacrifice the daughter, sacrifice Dino, sacrifice yourself if it comes to it, if only to save Desirée.
“Don’t hurt her, you fucking cunt, I’ll talk, I’ll tell you everything you need to know, just don’t hurt her!” The shame you’re feeling at this moment is deeper than anything you’ve ever felt. That morning in Tecala you woke up with the wife of your cargo in your bed was a cakewalk compared to this.
“Yes, Senor Thorne? You will tell me where my daughter is?”
“Yes,” you pant out, your heart doing a trip hammer in your chest with what you’re about to do. Your blindfold is ripped off and you see Desirée, on the floor a few feet from you, a knife to her abdomen. Oh, this guy is good. A quick, clean death is not what he threatens your Desirée with. No, he’s going to torture her if you don’t talk. In front of you.
“Now, Senor Thorne, I have no more patience for you.”
“She’s
with her mother,” oh God you’re going
to give up two innocent women for your Desirée, “in
“And you will no doubt want to take me there and return my daughter safe to me.”
“In return for Desirée, yes. I’ll do anything.”
“Good, this is much better than I anticipated. I thought I’d have to release young Miguel on your little friend here. He can go for hours and his taste runs, shall we say, to the exotic…”
“Don’t you fucking hurt her!” you shout.
“Senor Thorne, you disappoint me. As long as you give me what I want, I’ll give you what you want. Agreed?”
You are practically weeping with frustration and relief at his words. “Yes, you fuck,” you spit out at him.
“Such language,” he tsks at you. “No problem, I shall make the preparations and we shall leave in the morning.”
“Leave?”
“Yes, of course, you do not think I will retrieve my daughter on your say so? You will take me to where they are and when I am safely away, reunited with my daughter once more, then you may go back to your pathetic little fantasy life.” He chuckles and you feel your heart sink. His words are ringing true. Truer than you’d ever have believed. Because looking at Desirée, staring into her eyes, you can see the fear and worse, the revulsion, at what she is a witness to. It is the end of you.
“As a small reward for your compliance, I give you time alone. Miguel shall wait outside and retrieve the young lady in one hour.” The man leaves nodding to Miguel who shuts the door behind him as you turn to Desirée again.
Now that you are alone, you expect a flood of questions, but she just looks at you, then turns away and begins to weep.
“T,” she whispers, “how could you lie to me like this?” is all she says.
You’ve always loved her quick mind…until now.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you whisper.
“And Dino?”
You nod. “And Dino,” you confirm for her.
She drops her head into her hands. Silence spins out.
At last she speaks, barely above a whisper. “How are you going to fix this?”
You can’t believe she has managed to go through the entire gamut of emotions from anger to acceptance in this short space of time that, even so, has seemed like an eternity to you.
“I can only hope Dino is on his way.”
Then you see her smile.
“He is,” she says softly, “he has to be. I was on the phone with him when they grabbed me and I dropped it under the bed.”
Your mind begins working overtime. If Dino puts two and two together quick enough, you may just find yourself rescued. You and Desirée.
“Can you forgive me?” is all you can think to ask.
“Ask me again when this is all over. And after I’ve been able to ask you the thousand questions I have for you. For now,” she stands up and walks over to you, “just know that I still love you.” And then she kisses you.
~*~
When you first met Desirée, it was lust at first sight. She’d walked into the pub where you and Dino were having a pint and your cock had straightened out painfully in your jeans almost immediately when you saw her. By evening’s end you and she were staring into each other’s eyes over glasses of cabernet and you were wanting…no, needing to be inside her. You were fully prepared, however, to play the game and pursue her. Desirée had other plans.
She had leaned over when you had licked your lips for the hundredth time, trying desperately not to ask her to come home with you, and said in that captivating voice of hers, “So, Mr Thorne, will you play games with me, or take me to bed?”
“Which answer gets me between your legs the soonest?” you’d replied.
Her eyes had widened and her smile flashed wickedly. “That one.”
A cab ride later you were at her flat and tearing at each other’s clothes, locked in a kiss. You pulled her up onto your hips using the door as a brace and pushing into her, feeling her wetness flowing over your cock, hearing her moans in your ears and tasting her kisses with abandon. The deeper you thrust into her, the more she responded and it wasn’t too long before the two of you were coming hard with each other, your cock stroking deeply inside her, her opening clutching at your shaft, milking your release heatedly.
You had smiled at her when you came back to her. She had smiled back. And you were done for.
~*~
As you remember this while Desirée kisses you, you know only one thing. You are truly in love with this woman and you’ll do anything for her.
Even if it means you’ll lose her.
Only one thought in your mind is not about Desirée.
Hurry, Dino.
~*~
Hurry, Dino.
Dino and you have been mates since forever, it feels like. That night you met in the local lock up after a brawl in the pub near the Academy where you and your mates had taken on eight Yanks who had dared compare American football to your beloved footy. One of the Yanks was an affable red-haired bloke with the unlikely name of Dino. During the few hours before your respective CO’s had bailed you out, the two of you found you not only could tolerate each other, you were actually becoming good mates.
Over the years that friendship had become as close as brothers. There wasn’t anything you wouldn’t do for each other. That had become true the night Eleanor had finally thrown you out and you had gone on a destructive pub crawl, ending with you in the drunk tank and Dino bailing your ass out and nursing you back to health. Dino was the one who had convinced you that Henry was worth taking Eleanor on. And between the two of you and your mutual contacts, you’d won. Even though you didn’t see Henry as much as you wanted, you could and that’s what mattered.
The
countless missions, the crap jobs, the times apart, through it all Dino has
stayed your mate and you his. Finally
after the Tecala mess, you open your own shop and the two of you become
inseparable. Naturally, that meant
that Desirée and
But
the two of you always crave the adrenaline rush of the hands-on part of the job
and no matter how many times you promise yourselves, you both always find an
excuse to go out into the field now and then.
That Desirée and
But
That thought out of the blue like that makes you chuckle inappropriately given your current situation and Desirée stops the shoulder massage she’d begun to help you relax and think and stands in front of you.
“T? What’s funny? There’s nothing funny about this!”
“Sorry, luv…I know. Never mind. You said you thought Dino would be on his way? Would he have been able to hear where they were taking you?”
“I don’t know. I threw the phone under the bed and tried shouting at the top of my lungs any info they told me. I was only trying to make sure he could give the cops something…You think he’s going to come himself, don’t you?”
“Yes, he will. When did they grab you?”
“This morning…I guess that’s yesterday morning now.”
“Then –“ but you stop because Desirée’s eyes have become as huge as saucers, looking over your shoulder. “What is it, luv?”
“She’s stunned by my incredible manliness, mi hermano, what else?” you hear from behind you. Dino is always able to sneak into a room and never let anyone know he’s there until he wants them to. You thank the fuck for that.
You turn around with the first smile you’ve smiled in what must be days. “Dino,” you say and in those two syllables your best mate can hear it all and sizes up the situation flawlessly, as always.
“Need rescuing, Terry? What’s new, eh?” He unslings the uzi from his shoulder and hands it to you. “I’ve got a chopper in an LZ about a click from here. You two gonna be able to make it?”
You keep grinning because that’s Dino, always positive it’s only a matter of him showing up that makes everything all right. But you know it’s not just a matter of getting out and you stop Dino. “Dino,” you say in a tight whisper, “he’s just gonna keep after us, mate. We gotta take care of him. Tonight.” You can feel Desirée close behind you, feel that she’s scared, know that you have to protect her here and now.
“Terry, we’re not prepared like that. This is a scoop and run, not a full mission! I’m here to get you and Des into that chopper. The rest will have to wait.”
You hear Desirée’s quiet whimper behind you. You know she’s tough, but you also know she’s reaching the end of her rope and she’s just as scared as you think she is, thinking that man will come after her again. You can’t allow it. You won’t allow it.
“Dino, get Desirée on the chopper. Wait for me. I’ll be right behind you.”
Dino
looks at you and you can see he’s going to argue, so you run for the door
before he can. You have one purpose
now. Regardless of your own safety,
you are going to make sure Desirée survives this.
Completely. You hear Desirée’s
cry for you cut off and know Dino is doing what you need him to do.
This man must die.
All the heinous things your client told you, the things that motivated you and Dino back into the field for the rescue of the daughter in the first place. How she would be treated, how “daughter” was the last thing on this man’s mind when it came to her. But mostly because he had threatened to hurt Desirée. No one gets to do that. Ever.
There are no guards in the hallway and you sneak out, heading down towards a set of doors, you are going against everything you were taught, preparation, having the right gear, the right complement of personnel, nothing is as it should be and your instincts are screaming for you to get the fuck out of there, but you have to make sure, you have to know he’ll never come after anyone ever again. Especially your Desirée.
Two guards turn the corner and before you can even think, you gun them down with two short bursts from the uzi. You know all hell’s gonna break loose now and you race for the door you’re praying is the right one.
Somebody up there must like you, but it’s more probable that “They” like Desirée.
He’s sitting at a desk, yelling into a radio in Spanish, calling for guards. He’s also holding a gun on you. He puts the radio down and grins.
“Ah, senor Thorne. So you are not as clever as I’d thought. You should have left when you had the chance. Now you will never leave.” He cocks the gun and aims it at you. But he has to say that one thing more. “As will your friends. I wonder what the young senorita will taste like to my cock?”
The uzi bursts into life in your hands and you didn’t even know you were going to pull the trigger. He falls in a burst of blood but not before he gets off two shots. Neither of which you feel so you must not have gotten hit…Right?
You retreat back out the door gunning down three more guards on their way towards you and sprint back to where you had left Dino and Desirée, hoping, praying he was just fucking with you, that Dino got her out…got her safe.
You never make it to the door.
~*~
There’s a comfort in the colour black that you’ve always wondered about. It’s got a bad reputation, it’s always associated with dark foreboding, menace and evil. But you quite like it. It’s soft and warm and holds you tenderly, quieting your pain and making it go gently away. It replaces that pain with thoughts of tender caresses on skin that belongs to your Desirée.
Desirée is in the black with you and you smile. Then groan as she touches your chest with her warm hand. You can hear her voice. You just can’t hear the words. But who needs words? You’ve got everything you need. Desirée and the black. You can do everything you need to now.
You can hold her and love her, whisper all those things you want to tell her. About the job, about how you’ve given it up for good now. How you have never felt like this with anyone before. How you never want to, you only want her. You desire Desirée. You keep saying that over and over because as litanies go, it’s damn fine.
“I desire Desirée,” you say aloud. And love the sound of it.
It stretches your cock into full hardness, it makes you rampantly raging in need of her. You tell her how much you love her and how you love how wet she gets for you. How much you adore sinking into her and thrusting gently until she’s screaming for you to ram into her, hard and full of life, wanting you to empty yourself into her and give her all of you.
You tell her these things because in the black it’s okay to say anything you want. And all you want is Desirée.
~*~
You slowly become aware of your surroundings in a way that actually scares you more than the fact that you weren’t aware until this moment. This moment when you’re a fully vulnerable human being. This moment that separates the unconscious state you were in from the moment when the training will kick in and you begin to process information in a much more efficient way.
Moments are connected though…
And you find yourself listening to voices that you weren’t aware of until your mind began processing properly. It’s an argument. Not a loud one, in fact it’s a little funny to hear things like, “Goddammit, Dino,” and “Just fuckin’ listen to me,” in soft, muted tones meant for hospital recovery rooms…
“Keep it down, you two,” you hear yourself croak out. You want to laugh at how you sound, but instinctively know that will hurt your dry throat more than the five words you’ve just spoken.
“T!” Desirée’s voice is just as beautiful as yours isn’t at the moment and you feel your hand being grasped in hers.
“Present,” is all you can manage.
“He’s back, ladies and gentlemen.” That’s Dino. You smile, still unable to open your eyes.
“Was I gone?” you ask.
You hear a small choked laugh from Desirée and she kisses your cheek. “Almost,” she whispers.
“Fuck, bro, you had us worried. Thought you were bein’ some kind of hero, huh? What a dumb ass. I could’ve taken care of that monster, but nooooo, you just had to be the man. ‘Stuff of legends’ go to your head again, hermano?”
It all comes back to you and you remember the blood you saw on your hand as you fell to the floor in front of the door. You also remember a grim-faced, red-haired devil shouting at you to “stop bein’ a fuckin’ pussy and stay the fuck with me!” as he hoisted you over his shoulder and ran with you out of the building and to a waiting chopper.
Then you remember more.
“Uh…did I say anything? You know, while I was out?”
The deep blush on Desirée’s face confirms that for you.
The three of you laugh then and Dino goes to get the doctor.
You turn to Desirée. You have just one more thing you have to do before you finish recovering.
“I meant every word, luv,” you say to her, fighting to stay conscious. You can feel the black calling to you again. But it’s more a dark shade of gray. A healing gray.
“I know, my love,” she whispers.
“Marry me, then.”
“Of course, my love,” she grins at you.
“Okie dokie,” you say as your eyes drift closed. That’s all you needed to make it right.
THE END
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