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This is a work of fiction, using characters from the film, “Proof of Life”. No insult or invasion of privacy or infringement of copyright is intended. The story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains adult language. The writer is not responsible for any "discomfort" caused to the reader by this language and these situations. Please NOTE: This story contains a brief but explicit description of rape. Please do not read if this disturbs you. Holding Her With His Eyes ©10/2006 by: Darrin
Denise McAllister strode into the offices of T&M Global Security with only one thought on her mind. Defining once and for all this “thing” she had with her brother’s partner, Terence Thorne. Why she had let it go on this long without acting upon it, was beyond her. She was a McAllister, a strong-willed, devil-may-care girl who knew her own mind and was damned if she was going to play this “parry and thrust” game any longer. She’d ask him point blank, goddammit, where did she stand? Was she just Dino’s kid sister, or was she more? She wanted to be more, but she wasn’t about to play the simpering little female for him. He had to decide.
She really didn’t understand why she was angry though. They had a relationship. Of sorts. They got together whenever he was in town, went to dinner, dancing or a movie, and then back to his flat for a shag. Was that it? The casual atmosphere that surrounded them? The matter-of-course attitude with which they both approached each other? God knows she wanted more, needed more and from him. Terry Thorne. Frustration personified.
And so she strode. Right past the pretty little secretary, barging into his office despite the warning cry of, “Miss McAllister, he’s on a conference call!”
Terry was sitting back in his chair, feet up on the desk in front of him, completely relaxed. He saw Deni and smiled, pressing a button on the phone. “Luv, I gotta finish this call –”
“Don’t care, T, don’t care. Need to talk. Now.”
Terry took in her look, her demeanor and in his usual way, appraised the situation quickly, waving off the protesting secretary and walking across the room to close the door. He dispensed with the pleasantries and said simply, “What’s up, Deni?”
“What are we doing?”
Terry was non-plussed. This was coming completely out of the blue. “Doing? Well, right now, luv, you’re behaving rather irrationally. So I reckon you’ll hafta tell me, y’know?”
“Irrationally? Irrationally?!” She closed in on him. “I’m the only sane one here. You breeze in and out of my life expecting me to just be available any time you need a shag. I need to know where I stand, luv, I need to know how you really feel about me.”
Terry bristled. He’d been more than up front with her about his life, his job and where everyone stood in relationship to that. “You enjoy yourself. I make sure you do.”
“You bastard!” Denise slapped him, hard. She brought her hand back to catch him a backhanded one and he caught her hand in his. She tried the other hand and he caught that one, too. She tried kneeing him in the groin and he pushed her back against the wall to avoid it. His hand slipped and as he raised it again to capture her hands together she flinched as if he was going to hit her, something he would never do.
Keeping her hands pinned above her, Terry’s expression became one of concern. “Deni?”
Deni’s mind was racing. She was seeing and feeling things she could not understand. All of this was fucking familiar suddenly, like it had happened before.
Pinned against a wall…
“Cologne,” she gasped, “what cologne are you wearing?”
“What?!”
“Just answer the fucking question for once in your miserable life, Thorne! Not everything is a fucking ops!”
“I dunno…whatever was on the counter. Drakkär. Yeah, that’s it.”
“Oh, God,” she whimpered.
“What’s going on? Deni, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Terry’s face was filled with worry.
Thoughts were clouding Deni’s mind and she started to slip down the wall to the floor. “T…don’t let it…don’t let it happen again!” she said, inexplicably. She looked at him helplessly.
And his face filled with understanding. The last thing she expected.
“I won’t, luv. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
But it was too late.
~*~
Pinned against a wall. Prick of a needle. Chafed wrists from
handcuffs. Feeling the drug race through your veins. Sweaty smell of cologne.
Trying hard to identify it because it could take your mind off what was
happening to you. Drakkär, that’s what it is, hang onto that, you think,
could be important later, when the police are questioning me.
Deni found herself on the floor of Terry’s office. He was
wiping her face with a flannel he must have gotten from his en suite bathroom.
The damp cloth was cool and felt good. He placed a
hand on the back of her neck, lifting her head and putting a glass of water to
her lips. She gulped at it until he pulled it away.
When he told Dino, he tried to push past Terry to get to his sister. “Goddammit, Terry, let me go to her! How could you leave her alone?!”
“She’s asleep, mate. It’s okay.”
Dino looked at Terry fiercely and Terry let him go, following close behind. When he entered Terry’s office and saw Deni asleep on the couch, he dropped to his knees next to her and held her hand. Terry busied himself, discreetly ignoring his best friend’s reaction. After pulling himself together, Dino turned to Terry and they spoke quietly, watching Deni closely to make sure she didn’t wake and hear them.
“What happened? How much does she remember?”
“I’m not sure, Dino. But it was fairly obvious almost everything. It really threw her. She passed out in my arms just as the memory hit her.”
“We made a pact, dammit. How did this happen?”
Terry sighed. “It was always going to, mate. We couldn’t let her see a proper doctor for this kind of thing, you know that. So it was always gonna come bubbling back to the surface. Neither of us could be prepared for when or how.”
“Yeah,” Dino returned Terry’s sigh. “We gotta protect her, still. She’s my sister. I can’t let this hurt her any more than it has already.”
Terry leaned against his desk. “Dino, it’s gonna come back to her. All of it. Now that the door’s been opened, nothing you or I do is going to stop it. We knew this day would come.”
“It’s gonna happen all over again for her, isn’t it?”
Terry patted Dino’s shoulder. “Yeah, mate. It is.”
“Then the least we can do is have it happen in a controlled situation. I vote we take her somewhere far from here and let it happen.”
Terry thought it over. He and Dino both had done extensive research regarding repressed memories in rape victims. They had a good knowledge base to deal with Deni and the idea seemed a good one.
“Okay, mate. You stay with her. I’ll go set us up to be away for awhile and get us a place to stay up state. A mate of mine’s got a place we can use.”
Dino nodded and Terry went to set the wheels in motion, hoping they were doing the right thing, knowing they probably weren’t. But what happened could never be a part of anyone’s official record. He and Dino had broken too many laws that night, rescuing Deni.
~*~
Deni sat in the back of the SUV watching the trees go by. She had her knees wrapped in her arms in front of her and she was rocking back and forth. When she had woken up in Terry’s office, finding her brother holding her hand and looking at her with such love and anguish in his eyes, she knew it had not been a bad dream.
She hadn’t said a single word since then.
Terry and Dino had gotten her into the SUV, both of them looking at her with so much concern it was unnerving. Everytime she felt they were going to touch her, she flinched away, which made the look in their eyes even harder to deal with but she couldn’t let them touch her. She knew she was making it worse by this and by not talking, but the images in her mind and the phantom pains in her body were too confusing to speak about. She did her best to go along with everything they asked of her, but now that she had nothing to occupy her mind except the memories that were flooding through it, all she could do was just curl up as small as she could and weep.
Dino couldn’t stop trying to comfort her but the whimpers from his sister when he tried to take her hand were unnerving him. Terry told him he had to just let her alone. The tension in the car was palpable but there was nothing for it but to just get up to the cabin as fast as possible.
When they arrived, Terry and Dino unpacked the SUV, leaving Deni to decide when she was okay to get out and join them. All Deni could think about was that if she left the confines of the back seat, she’d start screaming and running and not stop until she’d outrun every memory that was just beneath the surface, ready to torture her.
Terry and Dino were taking their time with transferring the supplies from the car to the cabin, one of them always within sight of Deni, keeping an eye on her as well as making sure she knew she wasn’t alone. When Terry was fetching the last box of groceries, Dino gave him a look and Terry sighed and nodded. She wasn’t going to get out on her own after all.
Dino opened the back door and held his hand out to his sister. “Deni? Come on, hon, time to go inside. You can do it, just take my hand and we’ll go in together, okay?” Deni stared at his hand as if she had no idea what it was. “C’mon, please? Come inside with me.” After long minutes while Terry stood at the back of the car waiting, Deni finally put her trembling hand in Dino’s and let him help her out of the car. As soon as she was on her own two feet, she let go, hurting his heart, Terry patted him on the shoulder and they slowly followed Deni inside. Terry could see her visibly shaking.
Inside the cabin, Dino and Terry stood watching as she slowly moved through the large living room and they sighed together as she found a corner and sat down in it, pulling her legs in front of her and beginning to rock back and forth again, small whimpers of fear coming from her throat. Then with a louder cry, she laid her head down on her knees and they saw her eyes glaze over and knew she was lost in the memories again.
~*~
You try closing your eyes, but he just laughs and slaps you, demanding you keep them open. The gang around you laughs derisively and one of them tosses his empty beer bottle to him and he shows it to you, laughing all the while. You turn to where T is tied up, listening to him growl a blue streak at them, promising they will all die horrible deaths if they touch you. Your head is yanked back and you’re told that if you don’t behave T will be hurt. Bad. And just to prove his point, he nods to one of his men and he goes to Terry and punches him hard in the stomach.
No! you scream and he tells you that it’s your fault. You behave. He climbs on top of you and you hear a zipper being undone and… then…
He’s inside me oh God no I can’t no don’t scream don’t move take it be strong for T T’s shouting something what is it be strong be strong don’t let them win oh God oh God no no no please oh God no oh help me please no don’t please don’t
You scream loud as he rapes you and despite the knowledge they’ll hurt T, you turn to him and he’s struggling against the chains and one of them is hitting him over and over and still T’s eyes are locked to yours and he holds you with his eyes and somehow you survive. You can feel him erupt inside you, feel the warm sticky fluid enter you, leaving him imprinted indelibly inside you. You feel sick, but the drug inside you keeps you complacent enough not to throw up and you lay there as he pulls out of you and laughs again, telling one of them it’s his turn and just as you realize it’s going to continue, it’s not over, you hear a loud boom and then smoke fills the room and after chaotic moments you feel yourself being hoisted over a shoulder and then you’re outside and there’s an even louder boom and you can’t hear anything, but you see the explosion and the fire and they’re gone, they’re dead, Dino’s telling you they’re dead and you’re in the back of a van and T’s holding you and Dino’s shouting at him as he speeds away and you can’t hear anything but you know you’re screaming
~*~
Terry sat helplessly watching Deni scream. Dino had stepped out for a smoke not being able to watch his sister remember being raped by the thugs he’d killed too late. When he heard the screams, however, he ran into the living room. Everything they’d read said not to touch her until she accepted their presence, but the anguished sound of her cries cancelled that for Dino. Terry barely managed to stop his best friend before he grabbed his sister.
“Let me go to her, Terry!” Dino shouted.
“No, mate, no, come on, Dino, stop. Think. Remember what we read. Remember what’s best for Deni.”
That made it through to Dino and he stopped short in front of her, crouched down on his haunches. They both sat there, powerless to help her until she stopped screaming and saw them. When she finally did, Dino held out his arms and she went to him, weeping uncontrollably. Terry stroked her hair back from her face as Dino whispered in her ear that they were gone, they couldn’t hurt her again.
Deni pulled back from him, looking from him to Terry and back again.
“Th-they’re really g-gone?” she said in a hoarse whisper that Dino and Terry were immeasurably relieved to hear.
“Yes, luv,” Terry replied, “really gone. Dino made sure of it, didn’t you Dino?”
“I did, Deni. No one will ever hurt you again. Terry and I will make sure of that.” He paused briefly and then added firmly, “Right, Terry?”
“Absolutely, mate. You’ll always be safe, Deni. We promise you that.”
The three of them were silent for a long time. Then Deni whispered, “Y-you promised I wouldn’t have to r-remember either.”
Dino couldn’t answer. But Terry did. “And we kept that promise, Deni. You remembered on your own. We kept you from it for as long as we could.”
“How l-long?”
“A year, hon,” Dino replied.
Deni digested that. “You k-kept me safe,” she whispered.
“Yes, luv.”
“A year’s a l-long time.”
Terry caressed her cheek and smiled. “Yes, it is.”
“How do you feel?” Dino asked.
Deni shook her head. “I d-don’t know. Sick. Tired.” She thought for a few minutes. “Relieved,” she finally said.
Terry and Dino looked at each other, smiling. So far, so good.
~*~
Deni woke in the middle of the night surprised to find herself in a bed she didn’t know. She sat up and scooted backwards until her back hit the headboard and when that still didn’t feel safe enough, she got herself down onto the floor and crawled into the nearest corner, trying to push herself into it as far as she could. Gathering her knees up in front of her once again, she looked fearfully around the room, trying to remember where she was and why.
Terry heard the movement in the bedroom from the chair in the hall he was occupying while Dino got some sleep. They’d gotten her into bed once she’d fallen asleep, deciding to keep watch as if they were on a mission, one on guard while the other slept. It was on Terry’s watch that Deni had woken up and Terry stepped into the room, his heart speeding up when he saw the bed empty.
“Deni? Luv, where are you?” he asked quietly, trying to keep the concern from his voice. One of the key things they’d also read was to remain calm at all times. The only way she was going to feel safe enough to allow her memory to fully return was if her environment remained unthreatening. That was as much up to them as it was to where they actually were.
She didn’t answer, but he found her anyway through the whimper he heard from the far corner of the bedroom. He walked over casually and crouched down on his haunches a few feet from her.
“Hey, luv. You okay?”
He could see her eyes staring at him in the moonlight. Saw the shake of her head and held his hand out to see if she would take it. She shook her head again and he dropped it, sitting down instead. “That’s okay, Deni, if you feel safer here, you go right ahead and sit right there. No worries.” He saw her shoulders slump a bit and smiled at her. They sat together quietly until she finally spoke.
“T?”
“Yeah?”
“I remember more.”
“Yeah? What did you remember then?”
“I remember you keeping me safe.”
He wished he had, but didn’t tell her that. “That’s good,” he said with a smile. “Tell me,” he added.
“I know you were tied to that chair, but still… I felt like you were holding me.”
Terry smiled at that. For himself, he’d felt like he’d really failed her and Dino. To let her go through that, unable to stop them, unable to rescue her in the first place… He’d spent many a night in the pub drinking that particular pain away until Dino got him to spill it and gave him what for.
“Fucking bastard, you know fucking well there was nothing more to do than you did. You were fucking THERE and that’s the best that could have happened. What if you hadn’t found her at all and she’d gone through it alone, huh? You thought of that?”
It took a few more pints, but Dino had made his point and Terry had had to agree. He HAD gone after her when all the odds were against him even finding her, let alone rescuing her. That had to be enough or he’d drive himself mad with guilt.
“I’m glad, Deni. Glad you remembered that cuz I did my best to make sure you knew at least you weren’t alone.”
She nodded to him. “I just don’t remember how I got there.”
Terry knew, but she had to do it on her own. Anything handed to her would become suspect in her mind later and trust was the key here. She had to trust him and Dino and she had to trust what she remembered as being what really happened.
He sat with her for an hour or more until she slipped to the floor asleep again and then he picked her up and put her back in the bed, just as Dino came to see how she’d done while he’d slept.
“A good memory this time,” Terry said and told Dino what Deni had told him.
“See, hermano? You did the right thing.”
“Wish I could have stopped it from happening altogether.”
“Me too, pal.” Dino stared down at his sister, looking so small and fragile under the blankets. “Promise me something, Terry.”
“Anything, mate.”
“Promise me when we get through this, you’ll take care of her.”
Terry stared in shock at his best friend. “Dino –” he began.
“I know what I’m asking. If she can make it through this, then I need to know, know goddammit, that nothing will ever hurt her again.” He looked up at Terry. “Promise me,” he repeated, with so much force and sincerity, Terry could do nothing else but agree.
They spent the rest of the night uneventfully until the early morning hours when Deni began screaming once again. Dino was on watch this time, but Terry joined him almost immediately in Deni’s room. She was back in her corner, trying to crawl through the wall and Dino was standing near her, helplessly trying to get her to calm down without touching her. It was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.
“Mate, what set her off?” Terry asked over the screams. They were both crouched down near her, but far enough away that they could tell it wasn’t their presence that was disturbing her.
“I dunno, man. She just leapt from the bed and ran for the corner. I tried talking to her, but I don’t think she’s actually awake.”
“Christ.” Terry ran his hand through his hair. “Deni! Wake up, luv. It’s a dream. It’s just a dream!”
Deni’s screams finally became words they could understand. “No, no, no… He’s here, he’s going to do it again. I can’t, don’t let them… Please, Dino! Stop them!”
“I did, Deni. They’re gone. I promise, don’t you remember? The explosion. They were all in there. Try and remember the good things.”
“Wh-what good things? N-nothing good… No. All bad.” She looked from one to the other of the men who were trying to help her. Terry noticed her eyes change, from fear to anger. “Fucking men! All you want is to rip me apart, put your fucking cocks inside me and fuck me! Leave your fucking jizzum in me and make me something horrible that no one will ever touch again… Never love me, no one will ever love me, I’ve been damaged, I’ve been torn, you took that away from me and in front of T! How could you, how could you, how could you DARE take that away from me?!” She wailed like a banshee then and dropped to the floor, weeping wretchedly. Dino looked at Terry, the plea in his eyes desperate.
Terry did the only thing he knew to do. Despite the “no touch” rule they knew was paramount, Terry pulled her up into his arms. She beat at him with her fists, ineffectually with how weak she’d become. He shh’d her and kept talking to her.
“Deni, it’s me, it’s T. You know who I am. You know I love you. C’mon, luv. Look at me, see me, look into my eyes.”
Deni quieted in slow degrees. Finally, she looked up at Terry and touched his cheek. She didn’t say anything, but her whole demeanor made Dino sigh with relief.
“That’s it, Deni,” he whispered.
She turned to Dino, still in Terry’s arms. “We were in Europe. I remember that. I went someplace I wasn’t supposed to. You had to come get me.” She buried her face into Terry’s neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.”
“No, Deni. Don’t say that. It happened. Dino rescued us. It’s over.” Terry caressed her cheek and smiled. “It’s over,” he repeated.
“I’m still scared.”
“I know, luv. We’ll get you through this.”
“Okay.”
Terry took her back to the bed to sleep the rest of the morning until breakfast.
~*~
A day passed. During it, Deni went from terror to anger to calm and back again. She remembered more and more until Dino and Terry were convinced she had remembered enough to lay claim to all her memories. The only part she had not mentioned was the safe house. When she did, it was then that the two men felt safe in returning to DC.
On the drive back, Terry couldn’t stop replaying Deni’s monologue about the safe house in his mind. It was both comforting and humiliating hearing her repeat to them what they had lived through those two days after the explosion.
“I was scared, I was so scared and the two of you looked so worried and I couldn’t speak at all. I could only feel that fuck inside me and I knew if I spoke, I’d start screaming and never stop. So I went silent. It was the only thing I could do.”
“Yes, luv. We remember.”
“Then when I felt I could speak, I knew I had to forget. When you tried to touch me and I crawled away from you, I was so ashamed of myself. That I’d been tainted and damaged and I loved you even then, T. I couldn’t let myself know what had happened and still love you. Loving you was more important than my sanity.”
“Aw, luv… no…”
“Yes, T. I had to. And when you told me I didn’t have to remember any of it, I really knew I had to then.”
Terry was horrified when she said that. She’d thought he wouldn’t want her if she didn’t pretend like it had never happened. He thought he’d been helping her and all he did was made it worse. He and Dino had fought about it when she’d fallen asleep that first night but agreed that they had to let her forget. Terry had no way of knowing the damage he’d just caused, but it didn’t stop his guilt.
They got back to DC. They got on with their lives.
~*~
Months passed. Terry and Dino spent them watching Deni closely, but let her live her life as she wanted.
Deni had spent these months in complete abstinence. Terry didn’t think she had a libidinous thought or feeling even once. Dino didn’t mention it at all, but that didn’t surprise Terry. It wasn’t really something a brother would comment on about his sister. Dino wasn’t the overly protective type, but he also didn’t discuss his sister’s sex life openly. The closest he’d come was asking Terry to “take care of her” all those months ago. In true Terry/Dino fashion, Terry had known what Dino meant without having to have it spelt out. The two of them had always been closer than brothers and could read each other like books.
Dino was out on a date and Terry was working late. He rang Deni to see if she was up for pizza and a movie, since he really didn’t fancy sitting home alone while he knew his partner was getting laid and would be calling him at three a.m. to brag. At least if he’d had a pleasant evening prior he could handle it. Truth be told, he’d kind of put himself on hold too. Sex just didn’t appeal to him at the moment. Certainly not the mindless shag with the fuck of the week sheila he’d find at the local pub.
Deni said sure and Terry drove over a couple of hours later once he’d finished the reports he was working on. They sat down in her living room, eating pizza, watching the movie and just being two mates having a quiet evening. As the credits rolled, Deni began tidying up and Terry lit a smoke watching her. There had been a fairly heated scene in the movie and Terry actually felt his cock twitch in a way it hadn’t in a long time. Deni hadn’t reacted at all, like she would have before, but her mood had changed by degrees until Terry could feel something was going on with her.
She sat down next to him on the sofa, taking another swig off her beer and Terry jerked slightly in surprise when he saw her eyes. While in the kitchen, she had been crying.
“What’s the matter, luv?” he asked quietly.
“I’m tired of being afraid,” she answered, just as softly.
“You don’t have to be, sweetheart.” He reached out and caressed her cheek gently. “I’m right here. Always.”
With another start, Terry realized she wasn’t just talking about life in general. She was very specifically addressing the issue, the one that was the big elephant in the room at the moment. When she fetched a shaky sigh, he was certain.
“Deni?” he whispered and she dropped her face to her hands and began to cry.
“I want you. I want you so much but I think about you touching me and I can’t, I just can’t. I need to be held, to be loved but my heart begins to race and I feel like I’m going to panic and scream and get sick and… and…” she couldn’t finish. Just cried harder. When he tried to reply, she shook her head and turned to him, tears streaming down her face. “And how can I ever expect you to love me when I’m ruined?” she cried out and then ran from him.
“Oh, God,” he whispered and followed. He found her on her bed, weeping wretchedly. She heard him enter and curled away from him.
“No… don’t… I don’t want a pity fuck. That would be worse than just never having one at all. Please, T.”
He stared down at her and sat on the end of the bed waiting for her to calm a little so she’d hear him.
“Deni, don’t you think I feel the same way? I put you here. If I had done it right, you wouldn’t be in this place now. I don’t just want you, luv. I need you. I need you like I need air right now because if I don’t get to hold you in my arms soon, I don’t know how I’m ever possibly going to be able to forgive myself, let alone know you forgive me.”
Long moments spun out and she slowly raised her head to look at him. “F-forgive you? T, you saved me. I owe you and Dino my life, how can you think you need forgiveness?”
The two of them stared at each other. Finally Terry broke the silence. “I need you, luv. I need to know you can still love me. Still let me love you.”
The fear in her eyes made his heart ache. But she pushed herself up into a sitting position in front of him and stretched out her hand, shaking like a leaf, but inexorably moving towards him. He took it, ignoring the little gasp that escaped her as he clasped it in his and kissed the palm. He looked up at her and smiled.
“We’ll go slow, okay?”
She nodded, her lower lip trembling as much as her hand in his was. He pulled her into his arms, bit by bit until he was holding her. He could feel her heart beating wildly like a caged bird demanding freedom. He stroked her hair and whispered against her ear. “Shh, luv. It’s going to be okay.” She nodded against his shoulder and he slowly moved his hand from her hair to her back and then around to her chin, tipping her face up to his and kissed her. Tasting each lip and then gently opening her mouth with his tongue and engaging hers.
At first she didn’t react, stiffening in his arms and unable to move. Then as he deepened the kiss, she began returning his passion, her hands roaming his body tentatively. When he felt her fingers slowly unbuttoning his shirt, he reached down and began doing the same with hers. They were still in safe territory, he knew, but he also recognized that she was wanting to go as far as she could tonight. Perhaps even to letting him all the way in. He hoped so. When his hand caressed her breast over her bra, she drew in a shaky breath that ended in a whimper and she stopped moving again. But she didn’t stop him. He let his hands slowly move until they were able to undo the clasp at the front and as her shirt and bra fell to the bed behind her, he leant down and tucked her nipple into his mouth. He was rewarded with a soft sigh that had nothing to do with fear.
At last.
Her hands moved into his hair as he moved from one breast to the other, pulling each nipple into a hard little peak for him. He pulled back and smiled at her, cupping his hand behind her neck. “You’re so beautiful, Deni,” he whispered. She shook her head, a tear trailing down her cheek. He rubbed it away with his thumb and nodded. “Yes. You really are.” She nuzzled into his hand, but wouldn’t agree. Terry knew he’d convince her in time.
He pulled his shirt off too and held her close again. Her hands went to his chest and caressed him slowly. His cock was aching to be released and he willed himself to keep up the slow pace they had set for themselves in the face of just wanting to push her back and sink himself into her. Instead, he drew his fingers down her arms, watching her mouth twitch into a small smile. She always had a thing about his touch on her and she was finally responding to it like she used to. When he began undoing the fly to her jeans, though, her breathing changed and he could feel the fear coming off her in waves again. But he didn’t stop and she let him continue.
He moved himself to behind her, pulling her into his arms and resting against the headboard. Then he pushed her jeans down, making sure her panties went with them and then caressed her thighs gently until she calmed again. His hands returned to her breasts until he felt her relax and then he moved back down her abdomen. She began whimpering again and he shh’d her softly as his fingers moved into her curls.
“Oh, luv. Feel this with me.” He took one of her hands and gently got her to touch herself. “You’re so wet, luv. Feel that. That’s you wanting me. And I want you too. Can you feel?” He felt her push against him a little and knew she felt his erection against her back. There was a strangled whimper from her throat then and he shh’d her again. “It’s gonna be good, Deni. We both want this. I’m gonna take good care of you. Okay? You trust me, don’t you?”
Deni nodded, crying again. Terry let her for a minute or two, then kissed her hair and began moving his fingers with hers gently around her little nub, hard inside her satiny recess. She stopped crying and rewarded him again with a needy groan. Long moments passed as he continued to rub her into needing release, kissing her neck and whispering in her ear how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her, how good her wetness felt against his finger, how he knew she wanted to come for him and how he would wait until she did. Her hips started moving back and forth and he was sure she wasn’t thinking of anything but how good what he was doing to her felt. When he heard her start whispering, “Oh… oh… oh…” over and over, he stopped everything he was doing except for rubbing her little nub and she came against his hand in a surge of climax. Her fingers dug into his thighs and her whole body seemed to respond to the waves passing through her. When it subsided at last, she let out a shaky little laugh.
“I came for you,” she whispered.
“Yes, you did,” he replied, with a kiss to her hair again. “That’s my beauty sheila.” They sat quietly for a little while, then Terry began moving his hands again, caressing her body gently. He lifted her face back to his and kissed her mouth tenderly, then looking into her eyes. “Keep going?” he asked. She hesitated then nodded. He turned her around and undid his own jeans, pushing them down and freeing his cock at last with a groan of his own.
He pulled his legs under himself and kissed her while gently lowering her to the bed behind her. Her breathing increased and again, he felt the fear coming from her. “Shh, luv. It’s okay. I love you, I’m not going to hurt you. Slow, remember?” She nodded, tears once again streaming down her face and he kissed each cheek, pulling her tears from her as best he could. He pushed her hair back. “My sweet, beautiful sheila,” he whispered as he settled his hips between her legs, pushing them open with his thighs as gently as he could. He felt her resist and waited until she relaxed each step of the way and then at last he was where he’d wanted to be for so long. He pressed the tip of his cock against her entrance and her legs tightened against his, fighting him.
“It’s okay, luv. Shh, it’s okay. You need us to stop?”
She whimpered. His heart pounded. Then she shook her head.
“Love me, T,” she said softly and he could hear her trying hard not to cry anymore.
He kissed her softly, pushing into her just a bit at a time. He felt her alternately fighting him and accepting him until he was buried deep inside her body. She was almost hyperventilating with fear and he kept whispering to her until her body relaxed and he could begin moving in and out of her. Slowly, so slow as to cause him to begin sweating. But he kept up the pace because she was more important than anything he needed right then.
When her legs slowly wrapped around him and she opened herself completely to him, his heart sped up again, this time with joy. When her nails raked up his back and she began to move with him, he felt his eyes suddenly sting with tears too. He grinned and kissed her and began moving in earnest. “Come for me again, Deni. Let me feel you come around me. I need it so much.”
Her back arched, pressing her body against his and she gave a cry of his name and gave her climax to him also.
“Now, T, now… please…”
He drove into her then, and the two of them moved as one person. He felt his cock swell and his balls tighten and then he was pouring himself into her, jet after jet of his seed filling her womb, as her heated, wet passageway clutched at him, milking him dry with her own release.
Terry collapsed on top of her and she held him close.
Long moments passed as the silence in the room was broken only by their mutual harsh breathing calming down as they came back to each other. Then gentle kisses as he rolled onto his back and pulled her with him. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and grinned.
And held her with his eyes as she smiled.
THE END
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