This is a work of fiction, using characters from the film, “Proof of Life”.  No insult or invasion of privacy or infringement of copyright is intended. The story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains adult language. The writer is not responsible for any "discomfort" caused to the reader by this language and these situations.

The author asks for the indulgence of the reader, noting that the death penalty is no longer allowed in the state of Minnesota.

Full Length Of The River

©2008 by: Darrin

Chapter Twenty-One

Over the course of the next few days, Terry brought Stephanie to Dan’s office for two of her appointments and tried to keep everything on an even keel as best as possible.  Finally he simply had no choice.  Dino tipped him that the defense attorney had alerted the media and it wouldn’t be long before the story made its way around the internet and then into the mainstream media.  Terry had noticed Stephanie branching out into the social areas of the internet on her laptop and while she hadn’t joined any groups, it was only a matter of time before she saw something that would lead her to an article about it.

So it was that Steph’s next appointment at Dan’s was preceded by a phone call from Terry outlining what was coming down the pike and Dan said the only possible course of action was to gently walk Steph through the decision.

Naturally though, the best laid plans of mice and well-meaning K&R men, “aft gang aglee”.

They’d just finished lunch on Thursday and Terry was changing into jeans and a polo shirt while Maggie tidied up before leaving for the day.  Emerging from their bedroom, he heard a muffled cry from the living room and ran towards it before Maggie could finish her call of “Terence, quickly!” immediately following.

He found Stephanie pushing herself away from her laptop, actually trying to climb over the chair she was sitting on instead of getting up and walking away, seemingly not wanting to get any closer to the screen than she had to.  He managed to catch her before the chair tipped over and she wrapped herself around him tightly, her breathing increased to a terrified panting in his ear, akin to the sounds she made just a week ago, her “I’m-scared” noise Terry had never wanted to hear again.

“Shh, babygirl, it’s okay… Shh…”  He rubbed her back and got her calm while he stepped close enough to see what was on her monitor.

Defense Attorney in Death Penalty Case Puts Out Nationwide Appeal

“Oh Christ,” Terry muttered and Steph let out a small whimper.

“He… He… He…”

“Shh, Steph, I know what he wants.”

“Don’t make me do it, please T, I don’t want to, please, don’t –”

“Shh, babygirl, you don’t have to, you don’t.  Shh…”  Terry shut her laptop with one hand and sat with her on the couch, still calming her.  Maggie brought over a glass of apple juice ever mindful of Stephanie’s health.

“Poor wee lamb, drink this, Stephanie, it’ll help.”  Steph took two long sips between trying to calm down and Terry held her close again after she returned the glass to Maggie, her hand shaking.  Terry could feel her entire body trembling against his.  Dammit, this wasn’t supposed to happen this way! he thought, trying to remain calm himself.

Terry pulled out his cell phone and handed it to Maggie, mouthing, “Call Dan,” then returned his attention to his sheila.  Maggie stepped into the kitchen and he could hear the low tones of her voice as she explained that they would at least be late, if not have to cancel altogether.  Stephanie had begun weeping, interspersed with a whimpered, “Not fair…” every now and then.

“No, it’s not fair, Steph.”

“He doesn’t get to!” she finally declared angrily, tensing up in his arms and sobbing.

“Okay, okay, babygirl, if that’s what you want, then that’s what’s going to happen.  We don’t have to do anything, we’ll just let it go and forget about it, okie dokie?”

“How can I forget about it?!” Stephanie wailed and buried her head against Terry’s neck, fresh tears beginning again.

Terry had no idea what to say to that and just did what he knew how to do, hold her and calm her with caresses and words.  Nothing worked though.  She got more and more upset until Terry felt she was going to spring from his grasp and start throwing things.  Intuitively, he could feel her anger building fueled by her terror, a terror he surmised she was at last very tired of hanging onto.

Stephanie pushed away from him and he saw how right he was by the look in her eyes.  This wasn’t anger.  This was pure fury.

“I want to see them die.”

Terry’s eyes went wide and he cupped her cheek against his palm.  “No, Steph, no, you don’t want that.”

She pushed his hand away and leapt from his lap, striding across the room and turning on him, trembling with her wrath.  “Yes, I do.  I want to see them suffer and die in front of me.  I want the last thing they see to be the smile on my face so they can know I know they’re dead.”

Terry knew about this type of anger first-hand.  It had spurred him on during a number of missions.  Had caused Dino to step in more than once to prevent him from doing something stupid, something he would have regretted deeply later.  He had to keep her from this, he knew it as well as he knew himself.  He also knew that nothing he said to Stephanie right now would sink in and accomplish that.  So he did the next best thing.

Staying perfectly still on the sofa, feeling Maggie staring at the two of them from the entrance to the kitchen, he nodded slowly.

“Okay, luv.  If that’s what you need, then we’ll make it happen.”

Steph nodded, her arms crossed in front of her.  “Yes, that’s what I want.”

“All right.  I’ll make some calls tomorrow and find out what we need to do.  But for now, let’s go see if we can make our appointment, okay?  Talk to Dan a bit?”

Steph’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.  “To talk me out of it?”

Terry almost smiled.  Steph was so much like him.  It was only his past experiences that allowed him to see it dispassionately and not get angry with her mistrust.  “No, Steph.  I’ve always kept my promises to you.  If this is what you want, I’ll make it happen.  If you change your mind on your own, then we’ll undo it.  It’s as simple as that.”

Steph searched his eyes, calming down more and more by the second and finally nodded.  “Okay.”  She dropped her eyes, looking a little sheepish.  “Sorry, T,” she said softly.

Terry got up and pulled her into his arms.  “That’s okay, sweetheart.  You’re allowed a temper tantrum or two.”  He chuckled and tipped her chin up for a kiss.  He heard Maggie tsk behind him, but it was the only course of action that would keep Stephanie calm.

They ended up only being a few minutes late getting to Dan’s office and the session was spent wholly on the event and Stephanie’s reaction to it.  Dan was dead-set against it, but acquiesced to Terry’s idea, couched with his objection.  Stephanie stood her ground and at one point Terry and Dan exchanged a look that let Dan know Terry was against the idea as well, but that with as stubborn as Stephanie was, it was best to give in and hope she’d see reason before the date.

When they returned home, Terry pretended to work while Stephanie worked on her photos.  What he was actually doing was having an email conversation with Dan, laying out all the details he’d learned from Bob and together they decided there was nothing for it but to hope Stephanie changed her mind.  That night, Terry was woken up for the first time in quite a while to Stephanie having a nightmare.  Despite it, though, she would not relent.

So the next day, Terry called the DA and asked about attending the execution.  Keeping Stephanie’s identity a secret, Terry managed to get all the information he needed and walked Steph through what would happen.  It pained him to do so, but he described the process as graphically as possible, hoping it would give her pause.  While it seemed to at first, by the end of their discussion, she was still determined to see it through.

The nightmares increased in both frequency and intensity.  She refused to take the sleeping pills though, stating she wanted the nightmares.  Terry began to fear something far more intrusive was going on in Stephanie’s mind apart from the resolve to see these men die.  He cajoled, begged and finally pleaded with her to take the sleep aid, to no avail.  Stephanie threatened to sleep in her own room if it was “bothering him so much” and that’s when he got angry in return.

“Goddammit, Stephanie, this is tearing you apart!  I can see it, Dan can see it, Maggie can see it, hell, we all can see it!  Why are you hell-bent on destroying yourself to see these fucks die?”

“Because I need it, T!  I need to see them lying there, the poison filling their veins and I want them to see me, want them to know they didn’t win!  They didn’t kill me!”

“And lose your mind in the process?  Fuck, Steph, they WILL win anyway if you become a complete basket case over this, you want that?!”

Stephanie turned from him, tears running down her cheeks, arms folded, muttering to herself, “It’s just until they die, then I’ll be okay.  It’s just until then, it’ll be okay, he’ll see, I’ll be okay, right?  Of course right.  I can do this.  I need to do this…”

“Steph… Please, luv.  Please talk to me.”

“You won’t listen… He’s not listening to me… Please, I need this… Please…”

Terry’s heart was thumping hard in his chest as he watched her disintegrating before his eyes.  He took two deep breaths, holding them and exhaling just like he had done in the field on more occasions than he cared to remember and willed his heart to calm and his anger to distill.  Then he walked over to her and took one of her hands from where it was clenched around an elbow and held it gently.

“I am listening, babygirl.  Talk to me.”

Steph shook her head and muttered some more, then finally raised her eyes to stare deep into his.  He could see she was still in there, struggling to keep from falling over the edge into utter obsession that would lead to the final break to where he’d tried all these weeks to keep her from going.

“The nightmares are scary, yes,” she said calmly.  “But I need them to remind me why I need to do this.  I don’t want to drug myself into complacency and start agreeing with you and Dan.  I need to stay strong and remember that I have to do this.  No matter what, I need to do this.”

Terry, gazed into her brown eyes, the eyes he’d fallen in love with from the first time he’d seen her.  Yes, if he were truly honest with himself, he’d fallen in love with them the second she’d opened them wide to scream at him when he’d grabbed her in the hut.  He smiled gently, caressed her tear-stained and reddened cheek then pulled her to him, holding her close.

“I just want what’s best for you, Steph.  This isn’t going to be easy for you and I want to protect you from everything hard in your life.”

“I know,” came the soft reply against his chest.

He sighed deeply.  “All right, sweetheart.  We’ll get through this… Somehow.”

“Thank you, T,” she answered.

~*~

The days passed slowly.  The hunt for Jasmine Stephens started getting national attention and Terry had to work double time to keep Steph’s exposure to all the news surrounding the controversial plea from Minnesota down to a minimum.

The defense attorney was convincing as he spoke to reporters, outlining how his client, the youngest of the three men who’d committed the crime was truly sorry and had no desire to commute his sentence, merely had a burning need to know he’d apologized to the girl whose life he’d helped ruin.  Terry found out from Bob that while the lawyer was presenting his case as a purely noble gesture on his client’s part, that he was also hoping to get the death penalty changed to life without parole, convinced his client could be useful to society, even in jail and that was why he was pushing so hard to find “Jasmine”.

Bob also fed Terry information about the other two perps, who had ridiculed their cohort as doing it for nothing more than a commuted sentence and bragged how they were looking forward to “dancing with the devil”, having given up on their appeal process.  But the most interesting thing to Terry was that while the defense attorney was being allowed to search for Jasmine by his client, he too had turned down the appeal process, allowing his death sentence to be carried out at the same time as the others’.  Bob and Terry shook their heads over that together in email, wondering how such absurdity existed in the world and all centered around a sweet girl whose only involvement was being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Stephanie struggled through this time by throwing herself into her photography.  She accidentally ended up posting a few of her photos on a messageboard that got her noticed by an art dealer right nearby in Soho and with much trepidation, she found herself with an agreement to exhibit her work along with several other New York based photographers.  Terry insisted she not be photographed for any publicity and put it in terms that made it happen, much to the art dealer’s chagrin.  Dino laughed that if the “Thorne charm” was scary enough to get a New Yorker to back down, no wonder Terry had been so successful as a negotiator.

“You better believe it, arse,” Terry had rejoined and the two chuckled, clinking their beer bottles over dinner that night with Alaina and Stephanie.

Even Alaina had tried talking Stephanie out of her quest, but eventually, like all the rest before her, had given in, in the face of Steph’s stubborn refusal to be dissuaded.  Despite all the appointments with Dan and all of the people in Stephanie’s life gently trying to change her mind, she would simply not give up her need to see these three men die.

The weeks passed.  Steph’s exhibition night was fast approaching, but the execution date was approaching faster.  Stephanie would have about five days between traveling to Minnesota and her opening night.  Terry could feel the stress mounting in his sweet sheila who had had far more than her share of stress for two lifetimes.  And all he could do was hold her each time she awoke from a nightmare, weeping as though her heart would break yet resolutely holding onto her decision.

Terry managed to hold off revealing his “client’s” identity to the DA until they arrived in Minneapolis.  The trip from New York had been subdued, the cab ride to the hotel, morose.  Dan had cautioned Terry to be hyper aware of a change of heart at the last second, something they both hoped for, but there was no sign of anything from Stephanie but grim determination.

They arrived at the jail late in the night, Terry having arranged with the DA for a secret entrance.  Stephanie’s – Jasmine’s – picture had been plastered all over the press and she would have been mobbed if they’d gone through the normal entrance.  Dino and Alaina had come along for moral support, though Alaina wasn’t sure she’d be able to actually sit in the viewing room.  Terry was glad they were there in any case and it seemed to him that now that they were actually going through with it, Steph was wavering, knowing Dino and Alaina would not be in the room with them.

Outside the entrance to the room, Terry held Steph in front of him and said softly, “If you change your mind at any point, you say so.  Don’t go through with this with any doubts just because we’re here.”

Steph nodded and tried to smile, though couldn’t pull it off.  “Okay, T,” she finally whispered.

Just then, Terry saw the defense attorney notice them.  Fortunately, he’d been able to keep Stephanie’s face from being seen.  He pushed her behind him as the man approached.

“I’m Chuck Anderson, the defense attorney,” he said, putting out his hand which Terry shook cautiously, keeping himself between Chuck and Stephanie, foiling his attempts to get a good look at her.  “I thought I knew who everyone would be here tonight, but I don’t know you or your companions.”

“Terry Thorne,” Terry replied.  “This is my partner, Dino McAllister,” Dino also shook the man’s hand, “and you don’t need to know who the young ladies are.”

“I have the right to know the names of everyone who are about to watch my clients die.”

“You may have the right, but I’m not complying.”

Chuck gave Terry a sizing up look, then went over to where the DA and the warden were conferring, presumably to complain.  Terry gave Dino a look and the two of them tensed up, knowing the shit would hit the fan as soon as Chuck got one look at Steph.

Sure enough, Chuck returned, DA and warden in tow.  To his credit, he kept his voice low.  “Mr Thorne, I believe you have someone I’ve been looking for behind you.”

“While that may or may not be true,” Terry said evenly, “you’re not going to get to talk to her.  She has rights too, mate.”

The DA nodded to Terry.  “Chuck, let it go.  It’s not going to happen.  You told me you’d live with that once we got to this point.”

“If there’s a chance that Tom can go to his death having done the one good thing with his life he’s begged me to make happen, I can’t let it go.  Not when she’s this close.”

“That fuck doesn’t get to clear his conscience,” Dino stated with so much determination as to make the defense attorney blink.

“Excuse me, Mr McAllister, but my job is to see to my client and your charge there has the ability to make that happen.  I’m doing my job.”

“And we’re doing ours,” Terry said, still in a calm voice, though his gut was knotted like a pretzel.

“I will at least know if it’s her or not!” Chuck replied, voice rising despite his earlier reticence.

“Stop it!” Steph said from behind Terry, stepping out to where she could be seen.  “Yes, I used to be Jasmine Stephens and no I will not speak to him!  He took my life.  Now I’ll see his taken away too.”

“Now you heard the lady, Mr Anderson.  I suggest you leave us alone.”

Chuck gave Terry a look and Terry was surprised to the core to see it wasn’t what he expected, but rather a pleading look.  “Please, Mr Thorne, please let me speak to Jasmine, just for a moment.”

Terry stared into the man’s eyes and then, still holding Chuck’s gaze, said softly, “It’s your call.  What do you want, luv?”

The silence spun out until finally Steph said quietly, “Speak.”  Terry saw that Alaina was holding Steph’s hand tightly, as tightly as he was holding the other.

“Jasmine, what Tom and the other two men did to your family is without excuse, or even reason for that matter.  It cannot nor is expected to be forgiven.  We’re not asking for that at all.  All Tom wants is to tell you he’s sorry.”

“He doesn’t get to do that.” Stephanie spat out, her grip on Terry’s hand tightening further.

“I understand that’s your first and correct reaction.  And you know what, I agree with you.  It’s what I told him when he first brought it up.  The only reason I changed my mind is because for the first time in my career, I’ve met a criminal who actually truly is repentant and I want to try and not just give him the opportunity to show that but to set a precedence for other criminals to understand that repentance… not pandering, but true, heartfelt repentance, is a vitally important part of our judicial system.  That the victims have the right to face the perpetrators as much as they have the right to face their accusers.  To give hope to those victims out there who think that the judiciary system in our country is more than deal making, it’s about them actually seeking to become a better person from the one they were.”  Chuck took a deep breath, having not once taken his eyes from Stephanie’s.  “You have the ability right now to set that precedence in motion.  I’m asking you, human being to human being, will you please allow my client to apologize to you and perhaps in the future, allow other victims to know that it’s possible, not only to see the bad guy punished, but to also see him or her change for the better, even on the eve of their death.”

Terry had stood stock still, staring only at Stephanie as Chuck had spoken.  Some of what he said made sense, but there was still in Terry that seething anger that no cunt who had destroyed someone was ever allowed to feel better about himself.  He bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from going off on the bloke, who apparently felt he was right… Or at least right enough to be allowed to make this appeal.  It was Steph’s decision, right or wrong, she had to be allowed to choose on her own.  That was always going to be what Terry wanted for her, to be her own person, make her own decisions.

The silence had spun out, Terry could feel the warden becoming nervous as the minutes ticked closer and closer to when he’d have to end this momentary calm conversation and begin the death march of these three men under his charge.

Stephanie pulled in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly.  She surprised Terry by turning to the warden.  “Do we hear their last words?”

“Yes, the speaker is on for the duration.”

Stephanie turned back to Chuck.  “Mr Anderson, you can tell your client I’m here and that I’ll be able to hear his last words.  That’s all.  You can’t tell him anything else.  Let me say that again.  You can’t tell him anything else.  Do you understand me?”  Chuck nodded slowly.

Terry cleared his throat, bent close towards Chuck and spoke in a low, dangerous tone.  “And if you do, you’ll be the sorriest motherfucker ever to walk this earth.”

Chuck nodded again.  “Thank you, Ms Stephens.  That’s more than you had to do.  I’ll abide by your wishes.”  He gave a meaningful look to Terry which left Terry feeling confident the man would stand by his word.  He offered his hand once more and Terry and Dino each shook it, but Stephanie refused, curling up around Terry who wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to a corner.

She was trembling, tears following soon after.  “I d-don’t want t-to see the o-other two n-now,” she stammered.

“Okay, babygirl,” Terry replied and shh’d her quietly.

He saw Dino fend off reporter after reporter and thanked fuck he was there.  Alaina came over and rubbed Steph’s back as Terry continued to hold her and calm her down as well.

An hour passed and finally at five to one in the morning, they were let into the viewing room.

The curtain was opened and they saw a young man, much younger than Terry had ever imagined, laying prone on a gurney, strapped down, ready to die.

The two of them were seated in the front row.  The young man turned to the window, looking around the room, his eyes settling on Stephanie when he found her.

They nodded to each other.  Terry couldn’t even begin to imagine what was happening in Stephanie’s mind, but the way she clung to him, let him know whatever it was, wasn’t easy.

There was still a bit of activity going on, things said that went completely over Terry’s head, so consumed with concentrating on Stephanie as he was, then finally, at 1:09am, the warden cleared his throat.  “Any last words?”

Tom stared at Stephanie and spoke.  “I’m sorry.  I can’t fix what I did to you.  I take full responsibility for my actions.  I took something precious from you and I’m being punished appropriately.  If anything good can come from my death, let it be that you have a good life from now on.”

The warden placed the hood over his head.

At 1:10am the injections were administered.

At 1:15am, he was declared dead.

At 1:16am Stephanie collapsed in Terry’s arms.

~*~

They returned to Manhattan.  They got through the next five days with difficulty, Dan helping Stephanie every day.  Thanks to those sessions, she was able to attend the opening of her part of the exhibit and it went off without a hitch.  Stephanie found out she had a new career that night when she was offered several hundred dollars for one of her photographs with promising offers for future work.

The nightmares ended abruptly and never returned.  Dan was pleasantly surprised to see Stephanie’s recovery succeed by leaps and bounds, but Terry could have told him it was expected.  She was as strong as he ever could be and he knew his sheila was going to make it as soon as she’d opened her eyes back in their hotel room that fateful night.  She’d smiled at him and said two words that were music to his ears.

“It’s over.”

“Yes, babygirl,” he’d replied.

And she was right.

Steph had been to hell and back again, had navigated a river of fear and anger and they both knew it was because they loved each other.  At the end of it all, that was what would always see them through.

A month later, Dan released Stephanie from therapy, though made sure she understood never to hesitate to call him.

She never did need to though.

Another month later, Terry bought a second ring.  This time for her left ring finger.

Henry became a large part of their lives, visiting as often as he could.  Terry knew his life was finally on a track that would see him happy for the rest of his life.

And he was right.

~*~

~*~

In Central Park one summery afternoon, three men walked together, one pushing a pram in front of him.  They spread out a blanket under a tree and while the youngest played with his half-brother, the two older ones looked on, enjoying the day.

“You need to get one of these, Dino.”

“Nah, but I do like practicing as if I did,” came the smart ass reply.

“You know you’re really off, mate,” Terry chuckled.

“Well… YEAH!”

They laughed together and watched as their two sheilas approached them, giggling together, close friends now, as close as their respective husbands.

“Yeah, Dino, we were always gonna end up like this,” Terry said, sighing happily as his partner, best friend and brother-in-arms agreed.

We’ve run the full length of the river, Terry thought to himself, knowing now they’d reached the calm lagoon filled only with love.

THE END