This is a work of fiction, using characters from the film, “Proof of Life”.  No insult or invasion of privacy or infringement of copyright is intended. The story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains adult language. The writer is not responsible for any "discomfort" caused to the reader by this language and these situations.

Full Length Of The River

©2008 by: Darrin

Chapter Twelve

As soon as the doors closed taking Stephanie away from him, three things happened in fast succession.  His cell phone rang, he heard Stephanie scream his name and a nurse came flying out through the doors that had just closed on her.  He ignored the phone, had a fleeting thought of, I knew I should have gone with my gut on this one, and was through the doors before the nurse had a chance to explain, let alone drag him to where he knew he needed to be.

He wasn’t sure at all what had caused him to not insist on going with her.  Was he really that messed up about telling her he loved her almost without thinking?  That would explain it, he knew.  His world was steadily being turned upside down every day that passed since he’d rescued Stephanie.  No more routine, no more order, no more control.  And he didn’t give a righteous fuck at all.  All he cared about was the sweet girl he was racing to at the moment, the one who was kneeling on the gurney and holding onto the doors to prevent herself from being brought into the OR and wailing his name at the top of her lungs.

Something had happened, a memory most likely, but he didn’t stop to analyze, just got to her and pulled her into his arms.  “I’m sorry, baby girl, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” He kept whispering over and over into her ear as she wrapped herself around him and held on so tight, he didn’t think she’d ever let go.

“I tr-tried to be br-brave… I c-couldn’t,” she wept against his neck.

“You don’t have to be, you never have to be, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m sorry,” he replied, holding onto her just as tightly as she was him.

After long minutes, she calmed down at last and Terry noticed they were the center of attention.  Dr Daniels came out, her hands still wet from scrubbing in and a chagrinned smile on her face.  “It looks like you’ll need to scrub in with me, Mr Thorne,” she said gently.

“Yes,” Terry replied, then turned to Steph’s ear again.  “Baby girl, I’m gonna put you back on the gurney now.  Then I’m gonna go get prepped and I’ll be with you for the whole procedure.  They won’t put you out until I’m holding your hand.”  He looked at Dr Daniels who nodded.  “Okie dokie?”

Stephanie didn’t reply for a long moment then finally nodded.  “Y-You’ll b-be right b-back?” she asked, the quiver in her voice hurting Terry’s heart.

“Yes, luv,” was all he could manage.  He wanted to take himself out back and beat the shit out of him.  How could I think she was ready for this?  Fucking losing it, Thorne.  He gently laid her back down and kissed her.  “Two ticks, luv.  Promise.”  She nodded, managed a wan smile and watched him closely as he did her, allowing himself to be led back to the scrub-in area.

Sneaking as many looks as possible into the OR through the windows, he managed to get washed and dressed in the gowns, booties, mask and cap the nurse handed him.  Soon he was back at Stephanie’s side and holding her hand while the nurse helped her into the stirrups and then slid her down into the position they’d need.  Stephanie’s eyes were locked on Terry’s and he shh’d her when her breathing increased to dangerous levels.

“Nothing’s gonna go wrong, luv.  I’ll protect you.  I’m here now and I won’t leave you again.  I’m sorry I did, that was wrong.”

“S’okay now you’re here,” she whispered back.  “I wanted to be brave.  For me as much as you.  I just… just couldn’t.”

“I know, baby girl.  That was my fault though.  You’ll be ready, just not yet.  Soon though.”

The anesthesiologist said softly, “We’re ready to begin,” and Terry nodded.

“Gonna go to sleep now, luv.  I’ll stay right here and hold your hand, you won’t be alone again.”  Steph nodded, trying to smile again and Terry touched her lips with his thumb, unable to kiss her through his mask.  The anesthesiologist added the necessary drugs to her IV line, then covered her mouth and nose with the mask that would supply the final step in putting her under.  As her eyes closed, Terry smiled down at her.

“You can step back now, if you like, Mr Thorne, she won’t remember any of this.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather stay where I’m at.”

Dr Daniels smiled and set to work.  The procedure didn’t take too long, but for Terry it was an eternity.  He just wanted her to be awake so he could tell her he was sorry.  He didn’t know what had possessed him.  Was it that she’d been doing so well, he just subconsciously figured she would be okay on her own?  Fucking stupid that was, he decided.  He berated himself the entire time he stood there, holding her hand, caressing her cheeks, smoothing her soft black hair from her face.  She hadn’t been truly alone since he’d found her, how could he think she’d be okay going into this, this of all things, by herself?  Just because there was a doctor and nurses, didn’t mean she wouldn’t feel all alone.

Just then he heard his phone ringing once more from the other room where he’d been made to leave it and he wondered who the hell was calling him again.  It went to voicemail after three rings and he made a mental note to check it once they were in the Recovery room.

The nurses worked around him and though he noticed their looks and smiles, he was oblivious to the meaning behind them.  All he knew was he needed to be with his sheila.  And she was his sheila now.  He’d told he loved her.  In his book that meant they were as committed as if they were married.  Hell, even more than that compared to the marriage he’d had.  The mere fact that his heart was pounding just thinking about it spoke volumes to him.  How had this happened in a week?  How does methodical and, yes he’d admit it, anal-retentive Terry Thorne fall in love this fast?  Maybe it was just plain chemistry.  Stephanie did something to him he simply couldn’t fathom.

“Okay, ya bastard, you win,” Terry muttered to himself, accepting Dino’s “go with the flow” philosophy he always heard in his head because the red-haired goblin repeated it so bloody often, especially when Terry was resisting something Dino considered massively fun.

“What’s that?” one of the nearby nurses said.

“Nothing, sorry,” Terry replied, a bit mortified he’d begun talking to himself out loud.  He normally had a good internal monologue.  This was all making him crazy.  And talking of, his phone rang again.  “For fuck’s sake,” he muttered.

“We’re almost done here, Denise, why don’t you go get Mr Thorne’s phone so he can take his call.”

“Sorry about this,” Terry said.

“No problem, happens all the time,” Dr Daniels said with a wink.

Denise handed him his phone and he flipped it open.  “Thorne,” he said tersely.

“Terry, where the fuck are you, I’ve been trying to reach you for an hour!”

“I’m in the OR with Stephanie, you bastard, what the hell can’t wait?”

“Oh, shit, I forgot that was this morning.  Okay, well, I guess it can wait.”

“You’ve got my attention now, spill it.”

He heard Dino sigh and clear his throat, a clear sign he was about to deliver news Terry didn’t want.  “You need to be prepared for this, so I wanted to get the info to you as soon as possible.  I’ve had a guy data mining the internet for anything about Stephanie and… He found something.”

“So spit it out already!”  Terry kept his voice low, staring down at his sleeping Stephanie, feeling that insidious cold tightening in his gut that said this was bad.

“He found an article from a year ago.  Minneapolis.  About a home invasion that went horribly wrong.  The family were all found murdered except for the youngest daughter who was discovered in the basement, she’d been raped and left for dead.  They caught the punks who did it and they’re all on death row.  We did some more digging and managed to find out that the girl was in a group home for about six months then changed her name, hell, she bought a whole new identity, history and everything and moved to New York, Manhattan to be specific.  Joined the architectural firm of Graydon and Associates as the Controller…”

“No…” Terry whispered.

“Yes, Terry.  Her name was Jasmine Stephens.  The picture in the paper is Stephanie.”

“You can’t be sure…”

“Of course it’s her, Terry.  It all fits.”

“This can’t happen twice in a lifetime.  It just can’t.”

“It can and did.”

“I don’t want her to know.  You hear me?  She’s never to know.  I don’t care what it takes, we’re keeping this from her.”

There was silence at the other end of the line.  Terry knew that was Dino’s version of disagreeing with him but knowing he’d never convince Terry he was wrong.  “Terry, you can’t stop it from coming back to her,” he finally replied.

Terry grit his teeth.  The anesthesiologist was busy unhooking Stephanie from the mask and the nurses were getting ready to wheel her out.  Dr Daniels was watching Terry with great concern on her face and Terry shook his head.  Keeping hold of Stephanie’s hand, he walked out with the gurney as they made their way to the Recovery room.

“I can postpone it for as long as possible,” he finally replied, pulling his mask down as he spoke, though not letting go of Steph’s hand.  “I’ll talk to Dan as soon as I can, but for now no one is to mention this to anyone.  I don’t want this getting to her until it can be properly handled.  Got me?”

“I gotcha.”  There was silence for a long while and Terry found himself being given a stool to sit down next to Steph as the nurses worked to wake her up.  Then he heard Dino ask quietly, “Have you told her you love her yet?”

Did EVERYONE know but me? Terry had time to wonder before answering his friend.  “Yes,” was all he replied.

“Well, that’s something she’ll have to hang onto then.  Don’t worry, Ter, we’ll work this out.  We work everything out.”

“Yeah, okay,” Terry said with a deep sigh.

“Catch ya on the flipside,” Dino said and hung up.

Terry wiped a hand over his face and stared down at his sweet little sheila lying there.  He had been going to make love to her when she’d recovered from this.  But now all he wanted to do was hold her and never let her go.

She bought a whole new identity, history and everything…

Christ, this was a mess.  No wonder she couldn’t remember anything from before the kidnapping, nor was even curious.  Her mind knew damned well it didn’t want to know.  That the camp was preferable for her to remember than what had happened in Minneapolis actually scared him.

When Stephanie opened her eyes, Terry was staring into them and she smiled up at him.  She squeezed his hand and pulled it closer to her cheek, snuggling a little.  Then he saw her grimace a little and shift her legs under the sheet.

“Shh, baby girl, it’s okay.  You’re just feeling the procedure after-effects.  You’re okay.”

She sighed, moved a little trying to find a comfortable position and smiled again.  “Course I am.  I’ve got my T,” she said.

He brushed her hair back from her temple with his thumb.  “Yes, you do.  And you always will.  I promise you that.”

“I believe you.”  She giggled softly and then continued, “Because you love me.  You said it, can’t take it back.”

Terry kissed her mouth tenderly.  “Never will, sweetheart.  I’ll always love you.”

Stephanie searched his eyes suddenly, looking concerned.  “Is something wrong, T?  You seem… sad.”

Terry drew in a deep breath.  “Everything’s fine.  I don’t tell a sheila I love her every day, you know.  I’m just feeling… serious.”  He smiled at her.

That seemed to satisfy her and she kissed the palm of his hand, looking into his eyes.  “I love you, too.”

“Then everything’s perfect,” Terry said softly.

Just then the nurse said they’d be taking Stephanie back to her room and Terry followed along, holding her hand.  In her room, he removed the surgery clothing he’d been asked to wear and sat and held Stephanie’s hand as she dozed in and out of letting the anesthetic wear off.  When lunch time came, Terry helped Steph sit up and though she was still sleepy, she managed to eat almost everything.  When she opened her pudding bowl she paused and Terry knew something was coming back to her.

“I don’t know what spooked me about the doors.  It was the doors, though.  Something about them… I dunno.  I got really scared and… I needed you.”

“I shouldn’t have -” Terry began, but Steph cut him off.

“T, don’t.  We both thought I could do this and I did want to.  Not for you.  Well, not just for you.  I wanted to for me.  Just… The doors scared me.”

Terry caressed her cheek, cupping his palm against it and pulling her to him for a kiss.  “Okay, baby girl.  You don’t need to think about it anymore.  We just need to do some fun things for bit.  Not let any of this shadow what we’re happy about.  There’s no rush.  We can just let things happen naturally, not force it, you know?”

Stephanie smiled at him and Terry was struck with how her eyes shined at him.  He decided her brown eyes were the most beautiful he’d ever seen and wanted to stare into them forever.  She turned back to her pudding and he watched her eat it for the simple reason that she made sure he did.

Apparently she was developing quite the naughty streak now that their coupling was imminent.  Terry had to shift in his chair and despite his discretion, she giggled, making him laugh in return when he saw the mischievous glint in her eye.

After the orderly cleared their lunch trays, Dino breezed into the room with a huge bouquet of flowers, balloon and a large teddy bear.  Terry laughed out loud.  Only Dino could enter a room the way he did.

“How’s my Princess feeling?  Aw, hey, I missed lunch?  Didn’t you save me anything?”

“Bloody drongo, should have eaten before you got here.  Late as usual.”

Stephanie giggled and produced a jello cup and spoon she’d kept back.  “Here, Dino,” she said shyly.

“All right, somebody loves me.  If I had to rely on Terry, I’d waste away to nothing.”

“You’re too fat to waste away at all, ya bastard.”

“That’s cuz you’re too ancient to beat me to the food, old man.”

Terry just laughed because Stephanie was giggling fit to be tied, a sound musically welcome to his ears.  “Okay, I’ve gotta make a quick phone call, can I trust you alone with my sheila, you bludger?”

“Oh, I dunno… We might have to elope to Vegas and spend all your cash.  How’s that sound, Princess?”

“Very naughty, Dino!”

“That’s me, honey, bad to the bone.”

“Got that fucking right,” Terry said, laughing as he headed out the door.  “Keep your paws to yourself, she’s mine.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let her decide that,” Terry heard as he exited the room, laughing in response.

He flipped his phone open and pulled the business card Dan had given them yesterday from his wallet, making sure Stephanie couldn’t see him when he did.

“Dan, hi, it’s Terry Thorne, from yesterday?”

“Yes, hello, Terry, what can I do for you?”

“There’s been a development with Stephanie I wanted to run by you.”  Terry outlined what he knew, mentioned the doors to the OR scaring her as well and then waited for Dan’s response.

Dan took a long time to reply, Terry heard him sigh heavily.  “That’s a helluva thing, Terry.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it, but if my partner says it’s her, I believe him.”

“You’re not going to be able to keep this from coming back to her, you know that, right?”

Terry sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  “Yeah, doc, I know.”

“And it’ll likely happen at the most innocuous reminder.  I wouldn’t be surprised if there were swinging doors somewhere in her old home or more likely the group home she stayed at.  I’d like to see those records.”

“I’ll get my guy to call you with the details so you can request them.”

“Good deal.  For now, though, as much as getting her memory back is a priority, I agree that we should slow down.  Don’t take her to the employer’s just yet.  I’m sure a man in your position can figure out a way to postpone it without getting her suspicious.”

“Yeah, she’s not too curious so I doubt she’ll even notice we’re not going there yet.”

“Okay, that works in our favour for now.  But if you can send one of your men to get some information from Graydon, that would be a good idea.  Maybe even some reconnaissance at her apartment, just so we’re better informed before exposing her to it.”

“Okay, can do.”

“Then for now, just keep her occupied until I get a chance to go over all the information and we’ll make a new plan.”  Dan paused for a minute then sighed again.  “How does something like this happen twice to the same girl?”

“Got me, doc.”

“She’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky too, mate.”

“Take care, Terry, talk to you soon.”

“Goodo.”  Terry ended the call and went back into the room where Dino was making Stephanie giggle.

All he could do was wish there wasn’t this ticking time bomb in her past.

By late afternoon, Dr Daniels had stopped by and made sure Stephanie was doing well and told her she’d sign her release since everything was okay.  Then the nurse came by a short while later with Stephanie’s discharge instructions and follow up appointment date and time for two weeks hence.  Then it was time to get Steph dressed and out to the front entrance where they caught a cab back to Terry’s flat.

Dino didn’t have a date so they broke out the Scrabble board and ordered in Thai food for the three of them.  Stephanie had but to look towards the kitchen and either Terry or Dino were up and getting whatever she needed.  She spent the evening giggling and blushing over their antics.  Terry and Dino shared a few looks and he knew they would probably try to have a conversation once she was asleep.

When the Scrabble marathon was over, Terry put in a DVD and Dino got the popcorn and beer, ginger ale for Stephanie.  About three-quarters of the way through, Terry found Stephanie asleep and he and Dino went to the dining room where he could keep an eye on her but they could talk without her hearing anything if she woke.

“So what’d Gennero say?”

“Said to definitely slow down.  He needs the records from the group home, so get our guy to call him with the pertinent information on the facility.  Also, he suggested we send someone around to Graydon’s, see if we can get some information there and her home address.”

“I’ll do that tomorrow.  You should call beforehand though, so he knows I’m coming.”

“Yeah, will do.  Then Gennero says to check out the flat.  I reckon he should be there for that, so I’ll work that out too.  You or Duncan should go with to get pictures so we can all be on the same page.”

“What are you thinkin’?”

Terry drew in a deep breath.  Dino could always tell when he had a working theory and this time was no exception.  “I think there’s a good damn reason she has no friends here.  I think she threw herself into her work but spent all the rest of her time alone in her flat.  I think we’re going to get a lot of the rest of this story there.  Make sure Duncan understands I want pictures of everything, no matter how innocuous it is.  Open up the cupboards, the drawers, turn over the bloody carpet and mattress, but I want to see everything in that flat before she does, because once she does, I’m certain it’ll all come back to her.”

“Yeah, that fits.”  Dino looked down at his feet, taking a stance that put him perpendicular to Terry.

“What?” Terry asked, knowing something was on Dino’s mind he wasn’t going to want to hear.

“Ter… I love you like a brother, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know, mate.”

“You gotta be prepared for her reaction.  She could really lose it.  It could be Chechnya all over again.”

Terry closed his eyes.  Chechnya was a long time ago.  They had rescued a girl there, but despite all their precautions, she’d never made it past the trauma.  She was still in Bellevue, staring at the padded walls, unable to reconnect with the world.  Her family kept in touch, T&M got a Christmas card once a year with a short note apprising him and Dino of how she was doing but it was the same every time.

“I know, mate.  But I love her and she loves me.  I won’t lose her.  She’s too strong.  Look at how she’s survived all this.  Look at how well she’s doing.”  Terry turned to check on his sleeping sheila on the couch.  Her little bear was tucked under her chin and her black hair was splayed over her back.  “I’m going to keep her sane.  She’s survived this much, if I hold her, she can make it a little further past all of it and be with me.”

Dino put a hand on Terry’s shoulder and nodded.  “Okay, man.  We’ll make it happen.”  Terry nodded and they went back out to the living room to tidy up.

“You stayin’ or heading home?”

“And miss Maggie’s french toast Friday?  Not on your life.”

Terry chuckled.  He got Stephanie off what was now Dino’s bed and carried her to her room.  Dino made up the couch while Terry helped his sleepy sheila with her bandages, meds and getting her ready for bed.  They said good night to each other in the hallway and Terry returned to Stephanie after getting ready for bed himself.

Pulling her into his arms, his one wish was that she’d have no nightmares this night.

Chapter Thirteen