This is a work of fiction, using characters from the film, “Proof of Life”.  No insult or invasion of privacy or infringement of copyright is intended. The story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains adult language. The writer is not responsible for any "discomfort" caused to the reader by this language and these situations.

Full Length Of The River

©2008 by: Darrin

Chapter Four

Dino took off after leaving Terry his gym bag with a change of clothes and underwear and Terry rejoined Stephanie in the room.  A little while later a young sheila knocked timidly on the door and introduced herself as Gretchen, announcing she was there to wash Stephanie’s hair for her.  Terry checked with Stephanie to make sure that was okay and then let the girl do her job, scooting the chair out of the way and into a position where Steph could see him while her hair was being washed.  It took quite awhile; Steph hadn’t had a decent wash for weeks obviously but once her hair was rinsed out for the third time, it was looking a lot healthier.  Terry took the opportunity while Steph seemed so relaxed to change out of his camo into the jeans and polo shirt Dino had brought him.

When he emerged from the bathroom, Steph smiled with a relieved look at him as Gretchen put away the last of her supplies.  “Would you like a bath as well, Ms Jasper?” the young aide asked.  “It won’t take much to do.”

Stephanie agreed to that as well through Terry interpreting the look in her eyes and the girl went to fetch more supplies.  She must have been informed to take extra care, Terry noted, as she did not go further than Stephanie’s arms and lower legs.  A half hour later Steph was all cleaned up and Terry was longing for a shower himself.  Gretchen had however, also brought the toiletries kits Estella had promised earlier and Stephanie and Terry took turns in the bathroom.  As Terry shaved, he saw Steph watching him closely and smiled at her in the mirror.

They passed the rest of the morning watching telly and Terry dozed in and out of keeping an eye on Steph whenever one of the nurses came in to check her vitals or switch out her IV bags and see how they were doing.  When lunch was brought in, Estella returned and told him Dr Forsythe would be coming to see Stephanie at one o’clock.

“Wh-wh-who?” Stephanie asked, looking panicked after Estella had left.

Terry took her hand.  “Another doc who wants to make sure you’re doing okay, luv.  He might want to talk to you about what happened.”

“N-n-n-nuh-no, ple-please, n-no, T-T-T-T-” her grip on his hand was nearly cutting off the circulation.

“What’s all this, luv?  He’s just gonna talk to you, he won’t hurt you.  I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you again.  I promised you that.  You believe me, don’t you?”

Stephanie stared into his eyes, her brown ones brimming with tears.  “Y-yes,” she whispered and Terry smiled at her as much for the “yes” as he was for hearing her stutter almost absent with that one word.

He ran his hand up her jawline with the backs of his fingers and tucked a lock of her still-damp hair behind her ear.  “So you trust me?  Trust me to look out for you and choose what’s best, even if you might not like it at first?”

“Y-yes… O-okay,” she replied, dropping her head down.

He tipped up her chin and looked into her eyes.  “Then let’s see what the bloke says for us to do, cuz I don’t know about this part, luv, but I do know I wanna see the beautiful sheila I can see you are, enjoyin’ her life again.  And you can’t do that bein’ this scared.  You’ve been through something no human being should ever have to have gone through and survived.  And just as Bass took care of your hurts down in the ER, so this bloke’s gonna start helping with your other hurts.  You want it all to stop hurting, don’t you?”

Steph looked away from him out the window behind them and he watched her wrestle with her fear.  He had no idea what was going on behind those dark brown eyes but he got the sense that she was maybe coming to terms with while the ordeal was over, she had to accept it, make it a part of her life.  After long minutes of quiet even though he felt her hands trembling in his, at last her gaze returned to Terry and she nodded.

“That’s my good sheila.”  He cupped her face with both hands and they smiled at each other for a moment as Terry wiped at the tears that trailed down her cheeks with his thumbs.  “Let’s see what surprises we have for lunch, eh?”

Lunch was quiet, Terry letting Steph have a little think about what he’d told her.  After they’d finished eating, he noticed her running her fingers through her hair absently, so the next time he saw the little aide walk past, he stopped her and asked for a hair brush, when she had a minute.  A little while later Gretchen returned with it and Terry asked Steph if she wanted to try sitting in his chair for a bit so she could brush her hair out.  She did and Terry got her seated and watched from her bed as she brushed her hair.  It was a long, thick black mass of tresses and Terry could tell she was happy it hadn’t suffered too much damage.

Next, Terry requested a proper robe for her so she’d feel better covered and they went for a slow walk around the fifth floor of the hospital.  That’s when Terry discovered the purpose of this floor.  “Recovery Ward” was the title he found on one of the walls.  Well, Steph certainly fit that description.  As they walked around, Terry greeted the few people they met along the way, but Steph hid behind him, which earned her even more smiles.  Terry saw the look on her face each time and felt a tug at his heart when he realized she couldn’t quite make out why people were being so friendly.  When they’d made a full circuit, she was looking a little pale, so they returned to her room.

A nurse had been in and they found her bed had been freshened so Terry got Stephanie settled into her bed again and they were about to see what was on the telly when a rather large, older gentleman filled the doorway to Stephanie’s room and Terry’s first thought was, Crikey, he looks like bloody Santa!  The jolliness that seemed to envelope him added to the illusion and Terry half-expected him to produce a bag of presents and greet them with a loud, “Ho-ho-ho!”

Instead he walked into the room, smiling at both of them but staying a fair distance away from Stephanie.

“Good afternoon, I’m Ben Forsythe.  You must be Terry Thorne?”

“Yes, sir,” Terry replied, incapable of not calling him sir.  Ben put out his hand and shook Terry’s in a very friendly manner, laughing a little at the “sir”.  Terry couldn’t help it, he liked the man on the spot.

“And this must be Stephanie Jasper then.  Hello, Stephanie.”  Ben stayed where he was and Terry watched Steph closely to see what her reaction would be.

She remained stock-still, clutching her bear close to her chest and staring at the new arrival with very large eyes.  Terry walked over to her bed and sat on the end of it.  Ben stepped into the room then, never getting close to Stephanie, even pulling the chair a little further away from her bed before sitting down.

“Are you feeling better, Stephanie?  I understand you’ve had a very bad time these past weeks.”

Stephanie didn’t answer him, just scooted closer to Terry and took up a place behind him.  Ben just smiled kindly and turned his attention to Terry.

“You’re in global security, I bet you’ve had a lot of adventures.”

“A few,” Terry conceded, with a chuckle.

“And some wild ones at that, I’d be willing to guess.  Perhaps even ones that make you laugh now?”

Terry caught on to what he was doing and chuckled.  He launched into a story that he always told when the mood needed to be lightened.  The time when he and Dino had had to go undercover at an Embassy ball in Bangkok and how Dino had ended up having to dress up as a woman when their assignment turned out to be a female spy and the exchanges were taking place in the ladies’ room.  He had Ben laughing in no time describing Dino’s antics before, during and after, but when he got to the part about the drunk ambassador from Ecuador trying to pick Dino up to go back to his hotel room, he felt Stephanie laughing quietly behind him.  Mission accomplished, Terry thought, this guy’s good.

“That’s a very good story, indeed!” Ben said through his laughter.  His eyes shifted to where Stephanie was hiding behind Terry.  “You think so too, yes?”

Terry felt Stephanie nod behind him with only the briefest of hesitations.

“I’ll be sure and tell Dino you liked that one, luv,” Terry said over his shoulder.

Stephanie shook her head, but there was merriment in her eyes he hadn’t seen before.

“So tell me a little about yourself, Terry.”

Terry was taken by surprise, but still convinced he could trust this guy.  “About me?  Okay, sure.  I’m Australian, living in Manhattan for the last year since that’s where our main office is.  I used to live in London to be near my son, Henry, but I traveled so much, that didn’t work out too well.  But now with T&M getting to be successful, my ex-wife and I have worked out where he comes to visit during his school holidays and the week before Christmas.  That’s been a good treat for both of us.”

“I see, I see.  And how is it you came to have rescued Stephanie?”

“Oh!  Well, my mate David, he and I served together in the SAS and he contacted me about his sister.  And a damned good thing too, so we could find Stephanie and bring her to safety.”

Ben nodded but Terry saw he wasn’t watching him at all, his focus was completely on Stephanie.  When Terry finished speaking, Ben stood and spoke to her.  “Stephanie, Terry and I are going to have a little talk just out in the hallway.  Will you wait for us here?”

Terry turned to Steph and she nodded, pulling her little bear close to her and crawling back under the covers.  Terry smiled and caressed her cheek, then stood and followed Ben out to the hallway, making sure Stephanie could see him.

Ben smiled.  “Terry, my style of helping victims of trauma requires time and patience.  What I’d like to do is give you the name of a colleague of mine in Manhattan.  I spoke to him this morning and he is very willing to be available to Stephanie and I think given her particular situation he’ll be better for her than anyone the FBI is going to recommend.”

“Why do you say that?,” Terry said and took the card Ben handed him.

“He was formerly part of the army and has dealt with torture victims for most of his practice.  He has specialized training in dealing with rape victims as well.  Those criteria are going to be hard to find in a civilian agency.”

Terry nodded.  “I’ll call him and set up an appointment,” he confirmed.

“That’s good.  Forgive me for asking, but, I’m wondering… Is Stephanie just a job to you?”

“No, sir.  Not at all.”

Ben nodded approvingly.  “So could I further take it that you’re considering long-term plans that involve her and you?”

Terry smiled.  This bloke was bloody good.  “I am.  Can you help me with that?”

“First things first.  I need to know you understand the commitment you’re thinking of taking on.  She could very easily fall back into her life with very little effort, perhaps only needing help for a short while before being able to put things into perspective.  And then you would only be a reminder of her trauma and she’d come to resent your presence.  On the other extreme, she could very well require full time care and would need to live with you.  You wouldn’t be able to go back to work for quite some time until she could be weaned from needing you nearby.  At the moment, neither of us can have any inkling of what her life was like before the kidnapping.  She may have a full complement of friends who would be her support group.  I know she has no relatives, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have friends who are waiting for her.”

“True, but the FBI agent Dino spoke to mentioned nothing about anyone inquiring about her.  Don’t you think that if there were anyone that close to her, they’d be here already?”

Ben thought about that and nodded.  “That’s a good point.  My suggestion is then, that you discuss it with her.  See how she feels.  Try and get as many details about her former life from her as you can.  And then base your actions accordingly.  Things will be very much in flux for you until you discover what it is she needs to recover from this trauma.  You could simply end up acquaintances.  But then again, she may need you to the full extent that a relative might and you need to prepare yourself for either eventuality.  At the end of the day, the two of you will work it out together.  That’s the key.”

“Right you are.  I’ve just been waiting for the green light and I reckon you’re it.”

“Yes, I am.  To be honest though, I haven’t come across a situation quite like this before.  But after speaking with Bass downstairs and watching the two of you just now, I have to say, she is very lucky you found her.”  He paused for a moment, Terry thinking he was considering his next question, then spoke.  “Terry, I do want to ask, why is it you are doing this for a complete stranger?  Do you have some sort of saviour complex?”

Terry saw a bemused look in the man’s eyes.  He had every right to ask even though Stephanie wasn’t his patient exactly.  “Well, I’ve been accused of worse, but all I can tell you is that I’m not sure myself.  What I do know is, she needs me and I feel as if I need her too.  Does that sound crazy?”  Terry chuckled but he was deeply serious.

Ben’s response was serious too.  “No crazier than anything that can happen in people’s lives.  I stopped trying to make sense of it all a long time ago and just go with the flow.  You two were obviously brought together for a reason and I can see in your eyes and by your actions, you’re sincere.  So while I’m not in a position to give approval or sanction anything with regards to Stephanie’s situation, I’m going to anyway, but with a caution.  Go into this with your eyes wide open, Terry.  She’s not a normal girl anymore.  She needs so much more than any woman you’ve ever met.  And if you tell her something, you have to make that something true.  Her world’s been turned upside down and the only way she’ll believe she can put it right side up is with consistency.  And you’re going to be providing it, if you make this choice.  You need to think about that before you commit to anything long term.  Beyond that, I can only recommend that you get her back into her life as soon as possible, get into a routine she can count on and take one day at a time after that.  My colleague will help you with that.”

“Thanks, doc,” Terry said and Ben shook Terry’s hand and turned back to go into the room.

“Well, Stephanie, it was a wonderful pleasure meeting you.  I’ll check on you again and see how you’re doing, but for now, I’ll say goodbye.”

Stephanie nodded and gave him a little wave and then watched as Ben left the room and Terry took up his post in the chair again.  Stephanie looked at him expectantly but Terry was surprised to see her eyes were filled with terror once more.  She looked about ready to crawl under the bed or bolt into the bathroom or… something.  Terry couldn’t fathom what was upsetting her so much, he’d only been gone a few minutes…

“Luv?”  He held out his arms to her and she shook her head, the tears spilling onto her cheeks.  Then he realized what it might be.  So much for thinking about this, he thought, time to go with your gut again, Thorne.  It had rarely steered him wrong.  He got onto the bed with her and took her hand even though she tried to pull back from him.  “Steph, no.  I’m not going anywhere.  The doc says I need to ask you about what you want to do.  Remember I told you that you were in charge?  Well, you are.  You say what we do after you leave the hospital.  Whatever you want, luv.”

Stephanie stared at him, eyes wide in disbelief.  “M-m-me?  I-I-I s-s-say?”

“Yes, luv.”

“Y-y-you st-st-stay?”

“I want to, so very much,” Terry said softly, smiling at her.

Stephanie shook her head.  “W-w-why?”

“Because you need someone to take care of you and I want to do it.  If that’s what you want, then I want that too.”

Her smile spread across her face completely lighting it up and making her eyes shine.  She fairly sprang into Terry’s arms.   “T-T-T,” she couldn’t get his name out and gave up finally just saying, “T stay!”

Terry chuckled and held her tight.  “Yes, I’ll stay with you.  Well, maybe you’ll stay with me.  We have to see where you live first.  Do you remember?”

Stephanie sat back and looked at him, puzzlement filling her face.  “N-n-no.  I-I-I h-have a pl-pl-place?”

Terry wasn’t sure what to make of that.  He had assumed she knew where she came from, what she had done before the kidnapping.  She seemed so lucid, knowing her name, reacting to everything as she had.  He suddenly wished Ben hadn’t left yet, wondered if maybe he should try and catch him, but knew if he got up to try and do that, Steph might freak.

“Well, according to what we know, you live in Manhattan.  Your boss reported you missing, so you have a job too.”

Stephanie leaned back from him, sliding back onto the bed from his lap, looking even more bewildered.  “I-I do?”

Terry leaned in closer to her and caressed her cheek, trying to be as gentle as possible, but needing answers.  “Do you remember your life before you were kidnapped, babygirl?

Stephanie’s brow furrowed as she tried to answer Terry.  Every now and then she’d look to have something and then would shake her head and discard whatever she’d thought she could say.  Finally, looking extremely scared, she shook her head.  “Th-there w-was a b-before th-that?”

Terry’s heart was hammering in his chest.  He was in completely unchartered waters now.  He decided you couldn’t go wrong with the truth and forged ahead.  “Yes, luv.  Your file says you lived in Manhattan and that your boss was the one in contact with the FBI about you.  They couldn’t find any relatives of yours.  Any of this ring a bell?”

Steph shook her head, her eyes taking on that wild quality that made Terry want to envelope her in his arms and not let anyone or anything near her.  So he did.  Pulling her back onto his lap and smiling as he felt her legs wrap around his torso and her arms around his neck, he whispered softly to her, “That’s okay, luv.  We’ll make a new place at my flat for you and we’ll work it all out.  Me and you and Dino and whatever sheila he brings home on any given night.”  He chuckled, hoping she’d join him, but instead he could feel her body shaking slightly, knowing she was once again on the verge of tears.  “Shh, luv, don’t cry.  It’s not important.  We can worry about it later, okay?”  He caressed her hair, being careful not to touch her back too much and gentled her back down until she was breathing normally again.

Just then Estella came in to check Steph’s vitals, giving Terry a questioning look.

“It’s okay, we just had a little scare.  Okay now though, right, luv?”  Steph nodded against his shoulder.  “Goodo.  Estella wants to get your vitals again, okay?”  Another nod and Terry let her go, moving back to the chair to let Estella do her job.

As she rolled the blood pressure cuff back up from noting Steph’s current levels, she smiled down at Steph, who was looking pale and a little shaky from what Terry could see.  “Maybe a little walk outside?  Get some fresh air?  How does that sound?”

Stephanie turned to Terry and Terry turned the tables on her and said, “What do you want to do, luv?” with a grin.

Steph brought her hand up to her mouth to cover the answering grin, her eyes shining a little.  “O-okay,” she replied.

“Just take extra care of your IV and you’ll do fine,” Estella said, unhooking her from the monitors as she’d done earlier for their walk around the ward.

Terry and Steph walked slowly to the elevators after getting instructions from Estella about where the patient walk area was, that there were plenty of benches and a number of orderlies, “just in case,” as she put it, looking at Terry meaningfully.  Terry had nodded, chuckled a little as Steph left her bear on her pillow and then off they went.

It was a typical Californian April day.  The sun was out, there was a light breeze blowing and a few clouds in the blue sky.  Terry didn’t miss either New York or London at that moment.  They had managed one circuit around the little pond when Terry noticed Steph looking a little pale so they found a bench and sat down.  Stephanie leaned against Terry’s shoulder as he put his arm around her and they watched a little bird try to find a meal at the edge of the pond.

“We could do this in New York,” Terry said casually.  “You know, go for a walk in Central Park and feed the birds.  You’ll get plenty of exercise that way.  My flat’s only a few blocks from there.  We can have brekkie and read the paper then go for a walk and get a hot dog, then see the bloke Dr Ben told me about and back home for dinner and some telly, how does that sound?”

“Like a g-good day.”

Terry didn’t move.  Just kept gently caressing her shoulder as he had been and hoped like hell she couldn’t feel his heart beat increase.

“Yeah, that’d be a good day.  So let’s plan on that, ya reckon?”

“Okay.  B-but what about th-the bloke?”

Terry grinned at her use of the Aussie slang and held her a little tighter.  “I dunno, luv.  Reckon he and you’ll just talk.”

“About th-the bad st-stuff.”

“Yes, luv.”

“But you’ll b-be there, so it’ll be okay.”

“Definitely, luv.”  Terry bent down and kissed the top of her head.  “Ready to walk some more?”

Stephanie nodded and they got up to make another few circuits around the quad.  Terry just wanted to laugh out loud with how much her stutter had dissipated.  He found himself suddenly just wanting to take her home, forget about everything and hold her for as long as she wanted.

After a few more breaks and a few more circuits, Terry felt she’d had enough and needed to get back to her room.  Steph’s pale nod told him he was right.  They took their time getting back to the fifth floor.  Though Stephanie’s stutter was almost gone, she still shrunk behind Terry anytime anyone came close by.  He didn’t mind that at all.

When they got to the elevator on the main floor, Terry’s attention was suddenly pulled to the main entrance area by a female voice crying out viciously, “There she is!”  That’s when several things happened at once, Terry saw David Masters struggling with his mother and several nurses standing up in response to that woman’s cry and Terry, operating purely on instinct, jabbed the call-button again, put Stephanie between him and the elevator door and faced the lobby, praying the elevator arrived right the fuck now.

“You cunt!  You got my daughter killed!  It should have been you!”

“Mom, no!”

“She’d be alive and home now if it weren’t for you!”

“Terry, I’m sorry!” David called across the lobby.

“Not half as much as your mother is gonna be if she doesn’t shut the fuck up, mate!” Terry shouted.  Stephanie was whimpering behind him on the floor, trying to open the elevator doors by sheer will, her little hands struggling for purchase against the steel.  Her IV needle had popped out and when the call button dinged above the door, Terry left the IV stand behind, shot a final venomous look at Charlene Masters, bundling Stephanie into the elevator car and jabbing the button marked “5”.

Just as the doors were closing Charlene managed to lunge out of her son’s grasp and came barreling towards them, shouting, “I want my daughter back, why wasn’t it you?!”

“Stay the FUCK away from us!” Terry growled through the closing doors and then they were on their way up.

He turned to where Stephanie was curled into the corner of the car, weeping as wretchedly as she had on the plane, repeating, “No, no, no,” over and over.  Terry got down on the floor with her, pulled her into his arms and held her.

“It’s okay, babygirl.  Shh, it’s all right.  All over.  It’s all over.”

The doors opened onto the fifth floor and Estella was there waiting for them.

“I just got the call from downstairs.  Let’s get her back to her room.”

“Okay, just a sec,” Terry said and stood, using the wall as a brace in order to keep his hold tight around Stephanie.  She wrapped herself around Terry, her body shaking with sobs.  He followed Estella back to Stephanie’s room as the nurse made sure everyone got out of their way.  Once there, he sat heavily into the chair as Estella brought in a new IV stand.

“I’m sorry, Mr Thorne, I have to…”

Terry nodded tightly.  “Make it fast.  I promised her, no more.  That cunt made me break my promise.”  Estella nodded and took Stephanie’s arm as Terry whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry, babygirl, it’ll just be quick, I’m sorry…”

As Estella replaced the IV needle, Stephanie gave a little cry, holding onto Terry tighter.  Terry kept whispering in her ear that he was sorry, that it was all over.  Estella left briefly then returned with a syringe.  “Sedative,” she whispered to Terry who nodded.  Estella injected it into the IV line and waited to make sure it took effect.  Stephanie’s sobs slowly decreased into whimpers until she fell asleep, her breath hitching rhythmically.

“Do you want help putting her into the bed?” Estella asked.

“No, I’m gonna hold her until she wakes up,” Terry answered.

Estella smiled.  “It wasn’t your fault, Mr Thorne.  I’m sure she’ll understand that.”

Terry smiled tightly and nodded.  He knew that, but he had no idea how Stephanie would react when she woke up.  If they had created enough of a bond for her to forgive him something he hadn’t been able to control, despite his assurances to her that he would.

He smoothed his hand over her hair again and again as she slept, whispering, “I’m sorry, babygirl,” over and over.

Chapter Five