This is a work of fiction, using characters from the film, “Proof of Life”.  No insult or invasion of privacy or infringement of copyright is intended. The story is for readers over the age of 18 only, and contains adult language. The writer is not responsible for any "discomfort" caused to the reader by this language and these situations.

No Regrets

©2008  by: Riley

The toughest thing Terry Thorne ever did in his life was walk away from that hillside in Tecala. Walk away with his guilt and his misplaced hopes, turn from his own newly restarted and breaking heart as it drove away, a worn but alive Peter Bowman at its new owner’s side.

“So we’re even,” he’d said to her. He meant it. Alice had brought about several things that Terry was sure could have never been revived in him. What he had given to her, he could not quite put a finger on. He did his job. And he fell in love with her, against the bloody rules. Hell, against common sense and Lord knows, he was first and foremost a common sense sort of bloke. It wasn’t like he had a choice, was it then? Sometimes things like that just . . . happen.

But they never happened to him. The quickening of his heart, opening it to bleed and want was a wound he knew he must squelch and smother completely. Fast as lightning, or he’d be good for bloody shit, driven mental by the drivel of optimism for the things he simply could never have. The veil. It was once his choice. He would once again take it up, but this time reinforced with as much distance between himself and another human heart as possible.

He needed distraction. Terry gathered his duffle and hoisted it over his shoulder, taking one last look at the empty road winding down the hill. Oh fucking yes, he needed serious distraction. The kind only Dino could provide.

There was good Scotch and camaraderie awaiting him. It would be a quick pack and exit from the country, but Terry was well versed at finding alcoholic satisfaction in the blink of an eye. The danger had passed and it was safe to release the demons inside of him. Fuck all, if Dino needed to pour his sorry arse onto a flight back to London, so be it. Nothing short of whiskey-driven oblivion would serve him that afternoon. Nothing.

~*~

And it went down exactly as he had predicted. Waking in his own bed in his own usually un-lived-in London flat was just what he expected. Dark bruises on his upper arms showed that he hadn’t gotten there unaided. The fact that he was still fully clothed beneath the sheets confirmed that Dino was probably sleeping on the sofa in the lounge, and had heeded the warning Terry had growled before downing his first gulp of fine Scotch.

“No fuckin’ women, mate. Unless you care little for your bloody jewels.”

Dino was sitting on the sofa when Terry groaned his way from the bedroom, scratching his own jewels and seeking caffeine. 

“On my way home, Terry.”

He turned, actually disappointed, noticing Dino’s duffle, zipped tight and waiting near the door. “Yeah, mate. Ta.”

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll chat soon. Lots to discuss, mate.”

“So,” Dino followed him to the kitchen area and sat at the counter. “We’re on?”

Terry poured coffee, set the mug down and shook his new partner’s hand. Sipping, he figured, why the fuck not. His departure from Luthan Risk was far from amicable; he had absolutely nothing in the pipeline, no plans and not a bloody thing to do with himself. Starting a shop with Dino would solidify his commitment and give him focus he sorely needed. Even beneath the raging hangover, Terry felt the shudder of uncertainly. How could he have let himself fall so far? So hard? So wrongly? It wasn’t leaving a great position with a top notch company. It wasn’t about helping in a situation he knew could do nothing but go very badly without him. It was about her. Where the fuck was his head? He knew it never worked that way. He knew Alice would go to her husband and that would be the end of that. Dino was offering the only way up from the pit.

“What’s the plan?” Terry asked, grunting onto a stool opposite his best mate.

With a sigh, Dino pulled a flight itinerary from his pocket and slid it across the marble counter. “We’ll start with New York. I need your assistance setting up the office, locating the best negotiators and operatives, managing a mutual plan for target accounts and strategies. Then you can come back to London and duplicate everything. We’ll be kicking ass by the end of the year.” Dino grinned, but Terry could see the sympathy and concern in those eyes. It would be just as easy to start with London, but Dino was presenting a comfortable reprieve from everything that was messing inside Terry’s guts.

He lifted the plane ticket and read through the information.

“Two weeks to clean up things here. You’ll be in the States three, four months tops then you’ll be back. You gonna keep this apartment?”

“No.” Not even a second thought. He never liked the place, left it cold and impersonal, to feel like a fuckin’ hotel room, year after year. If he and Dino did things right, he’d be spending far more time at home, and that’s what he was craving. A home. Even if that did turn out to be just another flat. It was a time for change, a whole new life. “What time’s your flight, mate?”

Dino glanced at his watch. “Soon. A cab’s on the way.” But he didn’t stand or get ready to leave. He simply turned to glance out the window at the view of a gritty, dirty London morning.

“You better get moving. I’m fine,” Terry grinned.

“Was she worth it?”

“Not sure.” He stood and led Dino to the door, handing him the duffle and reaching out a hand. “Two weeks. See ya in New York, mate.”

~*~

Terry’s first pressing business was to clear out his Luthan Risk office. That was a piece of piss, everything packed in a box before he’d arrived, a new bloke sitting at his desk already and eyeing up the secretary Terry had carefully hired. She gave him a desperate look, so he leaned down, planted a chaste kiss on her cheek and whispered in her ear.

“Can ya hold on just a few months, love? Something may open for ya.”

“That soon?” she gasped a returned hiss.

“Yeah, but keep it under your pretty hat, darlin’.” He winked and left, carrying his one box of meager office supplies to the lift. He glanced down inside the crate. Stapler, simple gold desk set of pens, blotter, calendar. His favorite tea mug. Not much to show for so many years of service. He shrugged. Tucked within the box was also his final severance cheque, payment in full for services rendered over the thirty days prior to the Bowman case. Payment for Chechnya. Expenses. It was all there. Again, not much to show for his efforts. Ah well, things were about to get much better.

Back at the flat and still nursing a screaming headache, Terry lounged on the sofa, ignoring several phone calls, letting the machine pick up and half-heartedly listening to the caller messages. A few associates who had missed him at the office, wishing him well. Two calls from Brandy, wanting to see him and leaving breathy, suggestive ideas aloft her husky voice. Even this did not move Terry. He headed to bed, drew the blinds for more darkness than the gloomy day was already shedding and flopped onto the mattress.

Two weeks. Fourteen days before he’d be gone. He made loose mental notes of the tasks ahead. Make arrangements with a realtor to sell the flat. Schedule further storage for his Jag and equipment, with additional space to hold the few items he wanted to keep from the flat. He liked the bed, the leather sofa in the lounge. But everything else meant nothing to him; perhaps the rest could sell with the flat.

On to his relationships. He’d be back to London soon enough, but something told him he wasn’t going to be the same man when he returned. Brandy had been a delightful, sultry distraction, but that fire had been waning for nearly a year. It needed to be extinguished, and it needed to be done kindly. He didn’t expect any arguments. The relationship was primarily based on sex and the way his travel schedule had been, she had surely found other sources to satisfy her needs. Checking Brandy off his imaginary list of tasks, he moved on to more pressing people.

But there was no way he could continue without sitting up, thinking clearly and being as pragmatic as possible. His ex-wife and son were too important for pre-twilight mental meanderings. There were financial support considerations. And how the fuck he was going to explain his sudden loss of income? Granted it would all be recouped, but it would still present a hardship for Henry. The appropriate way to present these things would need close and careful thought; the kind that required a well rested mind. Terry drifted off to sleep, hoping the amount of scotch he’d consumed wasn’t so abundant that the next morning would again feel as heavy as his heart felt at that moment.

The telephone blared. Terry jerked from slumber and glared at his watch. Seven-thirty. Morning or night? He cocked an ear to listen to the message. It was Kat, and she was crying.

With a sour groan, he stood and lifted the receiver. A small twinge of concern pulled at the back of his brain. Katherine never cried unless it was a very, very large problem. He’d seen her cry only twice in his life, the day she told him she was pregnant, and the day she told him she’d filed for divorce. He supposed that he should have been honored by that, the fact that she thought enough to cry before tossing his sorry arse out of her life, but he wasn’t. Never would be. If she’d cried during the marriage, he might have felt at least a little loved, like a part of her life, maybe not so willing to walk out of it at her command.

Terry sighed. “Yeah, I’m here Kat. What’s up?”

“Oh, Terry!” she sobbed.

“Kat? Kat is somethin’ wrong with Henry?” His hand ran through his hair and he idly pulled the blinds open. It was seven-thirty in the evening. “Talk to me, Kat.”

“No, no. Henry is fine. Oh God, I need to talk to someone! Please, can you meet me somewhere?”

“Not till ya tell me what’s up,” he hedged, sensing a trap of some sort.

She sighed softly, hiccupped back another sob. “He’s cheating on me. Just be a friend, Terry. I really need a friend.”

~*~

Katherine was never a drama queen. She was the perfect ice queen; sharp, clear, cold and perfect. Her current husband had to have pushed her way beyond her limits to call to Terry for a shoulder and kind ear. Obviously she couldn’t tell her parents, confiding in friends was dangerous to her reputation, so he was the best option left to her. It made him grin. Not that he was pleased with her unhappiness. Just that he was intrigued by her motives. Still the little military brat with her own agenda.

As he walked into the pub, it occurred to him that he hadn’t seen Kat in over three years. With Henry growing like a weed, he was easy to meet at the bus station or pick up at school without her supervision. And when was the last time he’d actually talked with his ex-wife? Three? Four? Maybe five years? And what, pray tell, was the subject of that last conversation? How had it gone? Spying her alone and looking frail in the far booth, Terry had a strange feeling that he just might be meeting a completely different woman than the one he remembered.

His intent was to swagger over and drop roguishly into the bench across from her, but as he neared, his heart lurched. Kat’s hair, usually shining and perfectly coiffed, was loose and falling to her shoulders. Her fingers were shaking as they clasped a wadded handkerchief. One more step closer and he could clearly see the bruise on her cheek, but until she looked up at him, the purple flesh around her eye was disguised beneath a curtain of blond hair.

A waitress descended upon them before he could say his first words. He ordered and placed a comforting hand over hers. “Bloody hell, Kat. What the fuck happened?”

She was struggling to contain a wave of sobs, her head shaking in apology.

“Did he do that?” Terry’s gut twisted and he shifted closer to her.

“I’ve left him Terry. He’ll never hit me again,” she said like a brave little girl and he groaned a deep, aching sigh. His arm went around her and tugged her close, pressing her head against his shoulder and rubbing a soft circle on her back.

“When did this fuckin’ shit start? Why didn’t ya call me earlier? Jesus, Kat. And what about Henry? Has that fucker dared to lay a hand on my son?”

She pulled away, that familiar glare on her damaged face and Terry leaned back.

“Call you? When? Tell me Terry, when the hell could I call you? Some white knight, never around. And no, he has never touched Henry. He would have had to kill me first.”

Guilt flared like a bonfire in Terry’s chest. “How long has this been going on?” He whispered the question, unable to find the breath to speak normally.

“Too long, but it’s over. I’ve taken Henry out of school for a bit. We’re staying at your family’s old place near Plymouth. Is that okay, Terry? I found the key where it’s always been hidden, under the back step.”

Terry’s mind soared to the dilapidated old structure his father had always promised to repair, but never had. It was rustic and falling apart. But if she was afraid, Kat couldn’t have found a safer place to hide. “That’s good, darlin’. Where’s Henry right now?”

“At the hotel. We need to get out of London before morning, or . . .”

“Okay. Okay,” Terry pushed his untouched drink aside and slid out of the booth. “Let’s go.”

Kat blinked. “No, Terry. Don’t go all military on me. You don’t need to do anything. I just needed someone to talk to. Can’t you just talk to me?”

“We can talk on the road.” He tugged her coat from the hook near her seat and held it out, giving her an encouraging nod. “S’go, love.”

At the hotel, Kat tossed everything into her bag and Terry stood at the bedroom door, looking at his sleeping son. He longed for the days when it would have been simple to just lift the boy in his arms and carry him, but at fourteen, Henry was almost a man. Terry shook his shoulder.

“Wake up, mate. We need to hit the road.”

Henry stirred and sat quickly, then rubbed his eyes. “Dad? Is mum okay?”

Terry looked around the room. “She is. She’s packin’. You got anything in here she needs to stow in the bags, Henry?”

“No.” The boy was on his feet, tucking his wrinkled shirt into slacks and brushing past Terry.

It wasn’t until they were driving the dark motorway, Katherine sound asleep across the back seat and Henry, sullen at his side, that Terry realized that he’d gotten himself caught up in the drama. Seeing Kat bruised and broken, Henry tender and protective, he realized that they would always be his. His responsibility and his to protect. But driving them under the cloak of darkness to that old cottage was sheer foolishness. A few simple phone calls and Terry could put this straight. Michael would be behind bars; Kat would be safe and need to once again file for divorce.

He turned a glance to his son, stoic and watching the road ahead. Taking them to the decayed old place would do a few good things though. It would give him a chance to let them feel in control, give him time to learn the whole story, and in turn inform them of the changes in his own life. He shook his head and groaned. Could this have happened at a worse time?

“Tell me what you know, Henry,” Terry said softly, not wanting to wake Kat.

Henry took a deep breath and made what sounded like a class report. “It started last year. I came home for Christmas and she had a cast on her arm, said she took a tumble down the stairs. At Easter when I got there, she was bruised and her lip bleeding, Michael was nowhere in sight. Had left for parts unknown and I didn’t see him once all holiday. Mum wouldn’t tell me anything, so I skipped mid-term and took a bus home. That’s how I caught him.”

“Fuck, Henry! You caught him?” Terry hissed, agitation almost forcing him to pull over to listen more carefully.

“Yeah, I found him backhanding my mother, her screaming and crying that he had to stop seeing that other woman. He said he could do anything he wanted and he hit her again! I couldn’t get through the fucking door fast enough.” Henry turned to his father. “Dad, I wanted to kill him.”

“What happened next?” Terry concentrated on the road, terrified that he’d explode right out of his skin if he let his true feelings loose. He was doing what any good K&R man did. Sitting still, unemotional, listening.

Henry too turned to the road, scrutinizing the terrain as it was swept by the rain speckled headlights. “He left. Said he’d be back and I better be gone. It was my idea for us to go to the cottage, Dad. Was that a bad idea?”

“No. It was a good idea. What made her come back to London?”

“She called Luthan Risk for you. They said you were gone. I think she got worried, Dad.”

“Yeah? Why?”

Henry’s answer was a scowl to rival one of his father’s best.

~*~

Terry did what his dad used to do every time they’d arrived at the dilapidated old cottage. He settled his family in their respective bedrooms for a good night’s sleep, then prowled the place. Flashlight in hand, he slithered down to the basement and checked that the old furnace was working, checked the plumbing knobs and all the windows and doors. The fuckin’ place was so shabby, no one even tried to break in or steal anything. The furniture smelled moldy and the corroded sink faucets dripped incessantly. But it held a strange feeling of calm, being there. It was the place he’d taken Katherine for their fateful fuck, the one that had conceived Henry and pushed two young, ambitious people into a doomed marriage. It was the house where they’d had their first horrible argument, Terry unwilling to openly agree to an abortion, but beside himself with anger that he hadn’t used protection. It was a sad place all the way around, but somehow comforting too.

He slouched into the smelly sofa and let his eyes drift closed. With the morning light, he’d attempt to talk sense to his frightened family. Until then, he needed rest. He needed to sleep long and deep. For the first time since the Bowman case began months ago, Terry didn’t think about Alice, not even once.

The smell of fresh brewed black tea woke him and Terry rolled his neck with a groan. He went to the kitchen where Katherine was grinning wickedly. “Knew this would rouse you,” she said softly.

“Where’s Henry?” Terry sipped scalding, rich tea and sat at the ugly yellow and chrome table.

“I’ve sent him off to the market. We were low on everything.”

He patted his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Kat, did you need money?”

She smiled over the cup. “We’re fine Terry.”

In the morning light the bruised eye was ugly but obviously healing, fading from purple to subtle blues and green. He noticed purpling flesh at her collar he hadn’t seen the night before and wondered where else she was hurt.

“There’s enough cash to hold us, and I’m not so foolish as to think we need to hide here forever.” Kat continued. “I just . . . well, I don’t know. I suppose I needed respite from it all. A safe place to gather my nerve and force the ending. There was no need for you to come here with us.”

Terry shuffled in the chair, watching her face. It was different, more chiseled. So much more beautiful than the girl’s face he’d fallen in love with so many years ago. And all the more attractive at this point in his life. “Well,” he cleared his throat. “The fact is . . . I was in need of a get together at some point soon anyway. See, I’m leaving for the States in two weeks. Starting a shop with Dino.”

“Ahh,” Katherine sighed, turning her cup on the ugly Formica table top. “I wondered.”

“Wondered what, Kat? Why I’d leave Luthan Risk?”

She sighed, examined the shadows inside her cup. “How long? In the States, I mean.”

“Few months, not much more. Then I’ll be setting up the office in London. But Katherine, I need to warn you. Things may get tight, sticky tight for a while, but I’ll be doing everything I can to meet Henry’s tuition, as well as whatever other expenses he might need. It just . . . it might be a bit less than usual . . . just till things are moving.”

“Terry,” she smiled and spoke smoothly. “That has never been an issue. Father has been covering all of Henry’s tuitions and expenses for years.”

Terry straightened, tilted a glare, not liking that tiny morsel of information one bit.

“But,” her eyes sparkled. “That is only because he’s willing to pay for the school you and I had both agreed to. As far as uni, the General has a few ideas I don’t think either of us will like . . . so I’ve been holding and investing carefully for Henry. Every lovely pence and pound you’ve sent for our son, has been growing and preparing for the future he wants.”

“And what future might that be?” He growled, but she continued to smile.

“Our Henry wants to be an engineer, Terry. He’ll be going to the best uni money can buy, thanks to you . . . and daddy, even though he doesn’t realize it.”

Terry blinked. Kat was always a smart woman, but this bordered on manipulative. Granted, in a good and positive way, but manipulative all the same. “Why haven’t ya ever told me this?”

“Why would I? Terry, it would have hurt you to know I took the tuition money from my father. You would have never given me the chance to explain.”

“I just did. What makes ya think I wouldn’t have before?” He sipped tea and watched her squirm.

“Because, you wouldn’t have.”

Leaning back, Terry found a strange sensation of peace and comfort in the honesty they were sharing. “Why was that, Kat?”

She took her cup to the sink. “I don’t know. I would have never approved of you starting your own business with that red-headed lunatic years ago. But now,” she looked over her shoulder and smiled. “I am truly thrilled for you. Terry, it is the perfect opportunity. I trust you will find yourself in less dangerous situations now?”

“Well, less often, at least.” His eyes took in her posture, the way she leaned against the sink, the paleness of her face. “Kat, you look awful, love. Why don’t you go and rest?”

Her head shook and she returned to her chair. “I don’t want to rest. I want to talk. I need to figure all this out.” Her face rose, eyes begged. “Can we please just talk?”

“Sure, darlin’. But,” he stood and took her arm gently. “Let’s talk where you can rest.” He led her to the bedroom and tugged a ratty old chair near the bed. “Lay down and I’ll play the shrink. Sound like a plan?” Terry teased with a grin.

Katherine sighed and climbed onto the bed, she rolled to her side and propped her head on her curled elbow, looking at Terry. Just looking at him.

It was not the expression he was used to seeing from a woman; women like Alice, lost confused women, terrified women who were desperate for his help and guidance, for his compassion. This was a look different from any he’d ever gotten from Kat, for surely there were times when she too was very much the damsel in distress. There was no fear in her eyes. And no hope either.

This was a woman he knew and at the same time had no clue about. Katherine had evolved into a full human being since last he was with her, no doubt seething through irritation, frustration and unhappiness. She was now mature, strong, and looking for a real friend, counting on him to be the same.

He leaned elbows on knees and watched her carefully. “Exactly how did this start, Kat?”

“You know Terry, I thought life was going to be better. Michael promised me so much, comfort and security. Love forever. This time,” tears glowed in her eyes but he held himself to the chair, to listening and learning, even if it was painful to hear. Even if it reflected some of his own part in the ugly scheme of things. “This time I don’t even know where it went wrong. It seemed as though things were fine, but then he started cheating. I knew, I knew.

“There were all the standard signs, the scent of a strange perfume, lipstick stains, small odd gifts or scraps of paper falling from his pockets.”

Terry’s eye’s fell to his feet. I’d done the same. The same damn thing. And she’d known then. Did I really think I was so fuckin’ slick?

“Yes, Terry. It hurt when you did it too, but it was different then.”

Yeah, she didn’t care enough to confront me with it, right?

“I thought you would stop. I loved you so bloody much; I thought that alone would hold you to me. I was a young fool, Terry.

“This time, I don’t know,” she shuffled, propped her head on hand and fingered the frayed pillowcase. “This time I thought I shouldn’t have to put up with this anymore. I thought I was at a point in my life when I deserved better. When I told him to stop, he told me I had no rights. Told me I was pulling him down.” Her tear filled eyes caught Terry’s.

“Bloody hell, Kat. You know better. Fuck it all! We arseholes get close to a woman like you because we keep hoping you’ll drag us up from the muck. But he can’t be hitting you. Fuck! Michael has a few major problems, love. And I’m not the least of them.”

“Leave it be, Terry. I can handle this. He hasn’t gotten inside my head.” She lay down and watched the ceiling, moving leaf shadows drifting across the cracked plaster from the window. “I know who I am.”

“Then why did ya let it go on for a year?” He spoke softly but she gasped. “Had a chat with Henry. You should have walked out, Kat. Lock, stock and barrel.”

“I know. I was doing something so bloody foolish. Something I didn’t do when I should have.”

He pushed soft hair from her face, pulled the collar of her blouse aside to view the large bruise crawling down and under her lace bra. There was a staggering sense of familiarity between them. Trust that bordered on intimacy. “What was it that you did, Kat?”

“I fought for the marriage. Terry,” she didn’t look at him, her eyes drooped closed and her voice softened. “I fought for the wrong marriage. Why did I do that?”

He sighed, shrugged even though she wouldn’t see; she was very close to sleep, even her breath had evened to a peaceful mantra. “We were young, Katherine. Stupid. Foolish.”

“And we were in love. What a bloody waste.” She sighed again and nuzzled the pillow, fast asleep within a heartbeat.

~*~

In the kitchen, Terry found his son neatly tucking meager supplies into the cabinets or refrigerator. Without saying a word, he assisted, but when Henry suggested that he should go to his room and take a look at his long ignored studies, Terry took the boy’s arm.

Seated outside on the front porch step, he turned to his son. His little boy, once a babe in arms and soon a man. Henry would be a handsome bloke, his features already strong, his chin sturdy with Terry’s cleft, deep and demanding attention. His hair was Katherine’s pale blond, but everything else promised to be a replica of Terry, only better. He’d loved the baby and loved the boy, but spending the recent scant few telling hours with Henry assured that he would respect and love the man he’d become. Sadly, a man grown with little input from himself.

Oh yes, the General was there in Henry’s determination and clear thinking, in his strategic problem solving talent, and his tender protective nature. After all, wasn’t that what the General was really doing all those years ago? Trying to protect his daughter from making a terrible mistake? From marrying one of those Colonials, and a man far beneath her station to boot? Looking into Henry’s eyes, he realized for the first time that the boy had served as the battleground for not only his mum and dad, but also for his dad and the General. And it continued, now with the only thing left for Terry to offer his family, money. It enraged him that the old fuck thought he was getting the better of him, paying for Henry’s education. Bloody hell, had the fucker thought Terry was being negligent?

Henry cleared his throat and glanced down the quiet street, gathering Terry’s erratic attention and pulling it into the present. “Henry, I wanted to tell you. I’m proud of ya, mate. How you’ve taken care of your mum. You’re a courageous bloke.”

He didn’t know what he expected from his son. Perhaps a reprimand or a dismissive shrug. Certainly not what he heard.

“You know, dad. If you hadn’t left, Michael could have never come into our lives and never . . . ever . . . hurt her.”

“Son, it really wasn’t like I chose to leave your mum. It takes two to fail, Henry.”

“Yeah,” the boy sighed and stood, looking down at his father. “And it takes two to make a real go of things. Even I know that much. I need to study. May I go now, sir?”

Terry nodded and watched the gangly boy walk inside. He shook his head, determined to change things when he got back to London and settled. Settled. Fuck, he really wanted that. Wanted more than short, curt dialogues with Henry. Wanted to feel like a part of someone’s life.

With a groan he pulled his cell and made two brief phone calls. The first, to the General himself, informing him of what Michael had done to Katherine, and that both she and Henry were safe with him at the moment. Amazingly enough, the old man had nothing to say but a choked, ‘thanks’.

That done, he dialed the police. They’d take care of the rest. Terry assured them that Katherine would be there to press charges the next day. He wanted to give her time to rest, time to get out her anger at his intervention. An intervention he could have no sooner avoided than breathing.

~*~

Katherine prepared a meal and together they all sat, silent as a funeral, and ate. Terry watched Henry fuss over his mother then clear the table and politely excuse himself to study.

“You’ve done a great job with him, Kat.”

She grinned and poured coffee. “Thank you. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

“Wasn’t all that hard, just tellin’ the truth, love.” She stood so close, setting his mug at his fingers and looking down into his face. “It can’t have been an easy job,” he said softly.

“Terry, the only hard part was that Michael would have nothing to do with Henry. If we weren’t highly visible, at the school or family functions, I don’t think he ever even spoke to Henry. I think maybe it was tougher for the boy than me.”

She hadn’t moved away an inch, was still so close that Terry raised his hand to hold hers. “But the General stepped up, didn’t he, Kat?”

“Oh,” her voice was almost a whisper. “He means well, Terry. He really does.”

Holding her fingers, he rolled his thumb into her palm. “Did somethin’ Katherine. I called your father. Called the coppers too.” And he braced for whatever she’d shout at him. Whatever anger or indignity she chose to bestow. But Kat sighed softly then slowly lowered herself into his lap. Terry’s arms wrapped around her and he tucked her head under his chin. “Ya don’t want my balls?”

“No . . . thank you, Terry . . . I needed some help to get this all started . . . you are a white knight, you know.”

“Bit tarnished, I’m afraid. Tomorrow ya need to press charges.”

She nodded, her hand soft over his heart. “Terry, what happened to you? There’s something wrong, I can sense an emptiness I have never known in you.”

“Nothin’. Nothin’. Just did what I do best. Made a bad choice. Least this time I’m the only one to carry the consequences.”

“Is that why you’ll go to New York? Couldn’t you set up here first?”

“It’s to be the States. It’s better. Like you comin’ here, love. I need respite.”

Katherine was silent for a long moment then chuckled quietly. “So, all these years later, we find ourselves right were we started.”

Terry looked down at her; thought, then smiled and cuddled her closer. “Right. You’re right.” It was exactly where they were, fifteen years earlier and after their argument, after the tearful decision to hold the pregnancy and face the music . . . the wedding march . . . together. Sitting that way, holding each other, and nothing in the shabby kitchen had changed one bit. “How could we have done things better, Kat? I think about that sometimes, about how I fucked up, how selfish I was. Where the hell was my head?”

She chuckled. “The same place mine was. We wanted it all, just didn’t realize the cost. And truthfully, I wouldn’t give up one moment of Henry. It was a good decision I wouldn’t change. Would you?”

“No. But I’ve got a new choice to make. I need more time with him, Kat. When I get back, we should talk about it.”

“We can talk now.” She snuggled for more comfort, but it wasn’t making Terry more comfortable at all.  He kept telling himself it was just because there was a warm body wrapped around his, that he should have taken Brandy up on her offer, that Kat was wrong about the emptiness inside him; that vacant space nearly overwhelming, a void that was demanding to be filled. But this was Katherine.

And Terry wondered, had he ever stopped loving her? Even in the depths of their raging conflicts before and after the divorce, he never stopped loving her. But loving her and being in love with her were two very different things. This wasn’t a desperate, afraid woman. She was his wife, and strangely enough, she would always be his wife in his head. Even though wild sex would make him feel better, it would do nothing for the two of them. Not a bloody thing.

“Talk now? All righty then.” He sighed and let her enjoy his embrace, let himself enjoy it as well. “I’m sellin’ the flat. When I get back, I’ll get another, one with a room for Henry. And I want to see him. Maybe we can split the hols? Do ya think he’d agree to that?”

Kat looked up into his eyes. “Terry, this is going to hurt, but it needs to be said. Henry would give his right arm to be closer to you. I have never said a bad word about you to our son. Never. It was vital to me that he love you or hate you of his own accord. But you haven’t helped matters.”

“I know. I know. Ya think it’s too late to change that?”

“You’ll have to ask Henry that.”

She sat up and placed her hands on his face, looking deep into his eyes. She watched him for a moment, then suddenly her brow curled and she gasped. “Good God, who did this to you, Terry?” Tears fell and she kissed his forehead. “She was wrong to hurt you this way. Please tell me I never left you like this? So lost it’s painful to even look at you?”

His lips moved to her face and he kissed the bruise on her cheekbone tenderly. “No worries, Kat. I’ll survive. It was my fault. All my doin’ and I’ll be fine.” And his mouth sought hers.

It wasn’t seeking fulfillment, it wasn’t a need for sexual satisfaction. As Terry gently sucked Kat’s bottom lip, trailed his tongue and gained entry, she softly sighed and melted into his arms. His hands pressed her back, bringing her even closer. Never in his life had Terry felt so loved as in that moment. Fancy finding that in the arms of a woman he thought despised him, and with full justification. Her hands played at the hair on his neck and her throaty moans spurred him on. But Terry was a thinker, first and foremost. A good root is just that, a good root. Was he seeking that with Kat? Was he taking advantage of her at a weak point? And what would this serve?

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, using a term of endearment he had only used with her, and only at the beginning of their marriage when there was promise, hope, and a baby on the way. “Why would we do this? What will this solve?” He pushed hair from her face, cupping it lovingly and offering one more sweet kiss.

“Terry, we’re adults. And I . . . I have never stopped loving you. We don’t have to do anything. I am just so comforted in your arms, I feel so . . . so . . .”

“Loved?” he ventured. There was no other word to describe it. They had grown, changed. Gone from flirting kids to lovers, from a struggling married couple to enemies. And to have become friends in the blink of an eye? Therein was the miracle. “But what will come of it, Katherine? I’m still me. Still do a job you hate, still travel incessantly. Still do all those bathroom things that irritated the bloody hell outta ya.” He grinned and she giggled.

“Do you?”

Another deep, gentle kiss. “Uh-huh.”

“Terry, does anything at all have to come from it? You and I, we have a history of setting agendas that can never be attained. Must we do that? Can’t we just once take a very special opportunity and just . . . love each other?”

Terry glanced up and caught sight of Henry, leaning against the doorway and smiling. The boy quickly disappeared but not before catching Terry’s eye. There was approval in Henry’s expression. Approval Terry would accept. He stood; lifting Katherine in his arms, and took her to the bedroom.

~*~

Just love each other, she’d said. Had that ever really happened? With Katherine or anyone else? With Alice? What was transpiring was a new form of relationship for Terry; a rare opportunity to give and to receive in a blissfully safe and familiar territory. As he removed Kat’s clothes, he noted the changes in her body, the mature roundness of her hips, the all new softness of her breasts. He kissed and caressed the bruises left by Michael’s cruelty, waylaying his outrage that anyone would harm her, comforted by the fact that it would all be set right and the fucker would pay dearly for his stupidity.

Kat was making physical discoveries of his changes as well, her fingers soft as feathers locating and blessing every scar he’d earned since their parting. Settling her hands at his waist, thicker, more muscular, but older. He smiled down into her eyes, seeing the tiny lines there, sad lines, not the smile creases she deserved. Oh, what she deserved. Would he ever recover from knowing how he’d wronged a good woman?

Terry nuzzled her neck and kissed every inch of her flesh tenderly, moving to her core with an easy flow. Nothing desperate. Nothing needy. His only aim to please. To just . . . love each other.

It was a flavor he recognized and memories washed over him. How many times he’d nestled there between her thighs. Tasted and savored. He should have known then that it was special, that Katherine was special. What a blessing, this opportunity. Setting his fingers and tongue to the task, he chose his remembered route, knew exactly how to bring her along, crying his name and writhing to his touch. And Kat did not fail him.

There was a new gentleness about him and it had nothing to do with her bruises or fears of hurting her. It had to do with his own wounded heart, reaching out to another one. One that deserved everything he had to offer. Without the frenetic excitement of Terry reaching for instant satisfaction, he moved over Kat, watched the flush in her face calm, her breath relax, and most amazingly, her smile. His lips devoured that smile and he pressed her knees open with his.

Was this how mature adults made love? There was a sensation of balance, of being held between excitement and joy and alternately offered both. Entering Katherine was not new, but it was more powerful than finding a stranger and exploring. Her path quivered around him and Terry groaned softly.

“Oh, how I have missed that sound,” Kat said breathlessly. “That soft animal . . . wanting . . . me.”

His hips moved smoothly and his eyes watched hers. Katherine, always beautiful. Always a handful and driven. Always quick with her rage and quicker with her joy. But always...always his. Whether he deserved her or not, whether they fought or laughed. Always. Always Terry’s.

The gift she’d offered him was massive. Healing. The safety of such uncertainty was overpowering. There were no demands inside his head for a perceived future result with her. Only the satisfaction of a body seeking to please his as much as he wanted to please her.

Now this was true fruition.

~*~

After she filed a complaint against her abusive husband and began divorce proceedings, Terry drove Henry and Katherine to the General’s house. In the circular drive, he stood and lowered a kiss onto Kat’s soft lips.

“Henry! Henry, come!” called the old man, but Terry’s son stood still and awaited his chance to shake his father’s hand.

“Thanks, mate,” Terry gripped Henry’s hand and grinned, then watched them melt into the house.

Katherine’s father stood at the open door, staring at Terry. It was a standoff, but with every bit of dignity he could muster, Terry nodded a salute. The General returned it then shut the door soundly.

~*~

Another airport, but this time not alone. Henry and Katherine stood on the curb with him and he looked around, suddenly clearly aware of all the lonely travelers there. Terry was proud to be with them. He shook Henry’s hand, then pulled the boy into a tight embrace. “Maybe at break, you’ll come to New York?”

Henry looked to his mother who simply shrugged.

“I’d like that, Dad.”

“And this is farewell, my beautiful Kat.” Terry held her close then nuzzled near her ear. “Gotta warn ya, love. I want to see ya again. And maybe again.”

Her fingers dug into his side and Terry jerked with a chuckle. “I may want to see you too. Again . . . and again. We’ll see, Terry. This time, let’s take things one day at a time.”

“Let’s do that.” He lifted his carryon and turned to leave, then swung around as Katherine was about to climb into the car. “Kat!”

Her head rose and he saw the glow of a growing tear.

“I love you.”

THE END